A young child wouldn’t survive if she didn’t have support from responsible adults. She may not have been born responsible but she was born with the ability to learn new behaviors. Although you should never expect your child to handle grown-up responsibilities, you can help her learn responsible behaviors as she grows. By teaching her from a young age, you will give her the tools she needs to function when she becomes an adult.
Step 1
Set a good example for him. If your room is cluttered with paperwork and you spend an hour looking for your car key before you leave the house, your child will pick up on your cues and follow suit, says BabyCenter.com. Keep your affairs in order to show him what responsibility looks like.
Step 2
Assign her tasks that are appropriate for a child her age. Start early, too. Even a toddler or preschool-aged child can help pick up her toys and sweep the floor with a child-sized broom, according to the ABC News article “Raising Responsible Children”. A grade-schooler can have more responsibilities. For example, she can pack her backpack for school, make her bed before she leaves for school, feed the family cat and help clean up dishes after dinner. Your child may need extra reminders, but with enough practice she will start to remember responsible behaviors.
Step 3
Let him make some age-appropriate decisions. Offer your toddler or preschooler two shirts to choose from, give him a choice of breakfast cereal and let him pick out a bedtime story, suggests PsychCentral.com. As your child grows, permit him to make more decisions. A school-aged child or a teen may be allowed to participate in creating a list of house rules and decide on a fair and appropriate punishment, then be held accountable for his actions if he breaks one of those rules.
Step 4
Use positive language. For example, while making threats such as “If you don’t do X, you won’t get Y,” encourages your child to react with hostility, turning the phrase around to say, “When you do X, you will get to do Y,” encourages positive behavior, says BabyCenter.com.
Step 5
Let her handle natural consequences of some irresponsible behaviors. For example, if she doesn’t pack her homework into her backpack even though packing her bag is her responsibility, BabyCenter.com recommends not taking her schoolwork to her. If she experiences the negative consequences of her irresponsibility, such as receiving a poor grade or not getting to go to recess, chances are she will be more likely to remember to pack her bag in the future.
Step 6
Praise his efforts. He may not clean his room in the exact way you would want him to, but your fixing his attempts to be responsible may ultimately deflate his sense of pride over his accomplishments, says BabyCenter.com. Instead, use positive reinforcement by focusing your attention on how his responsibility has reaped rewards. For example, if he cleans the dishes from the table after a meal, you may respond with, “Thank you! Now that the dirty dinner dishes are cleaned from the table we can make some bowls of ice cream.”
