Psychological or emotional spousal abuse can be just as hurtful and demoralizing as physical abuse. Spouses suffering from psychological abuse can feel helpless, blame themselves, question their own worth, and trapped in a damaging relationship from which they feel there is no way out. Abuse knows no gender bias, because both men and women can be perpetrators of psychological abuse.
Definition
The Woman's Divorce website defines psychological abuse as a situation in which one spouse creates an environment in which the feelings, friends, needs and thoughts of the other spouse are trivial in comparison to the feelings of the abusive spouse. The abusive spouse desires control over the abused spouse and seeks to achieve control by limiting the relationships and emotional outlets of the abused spouse.
Effects
An abused spouse can feel afraid, isolated and lacking self-esteem from continual psychological abuse. According to the Woman's Divorce website, the abusive spouse can shift responsibility for the abuse onto the abused spouse. In other words, the abuser can make the abused feel that if the abuser's past had been different and if the current situation was different, then the abuse would not occur. The abused spouse can begin to see the abuser as a victim and feel a further sense of distance and isolation from friends and family. The abuser uses the abused’s feelings of anxiety as a further means of maintaining control.
Counseling
Counseling for psychological abuse aims to help the abused spouse recover a feeling of self-worth by taking a cognitive step away from the situation to see the relationship from another point of view, according to the Woman's Divorce website. Strategies for counseling victims of psychological abuse involve helping the abused spouse develop better emotional and psychological boundaries to understand and avoid the manipulations of the abusive spouse.
Considerations
Abused spouses may require help from a friend or relative to accept that they need counseling, because abused spouses can withdraw if they feel the idea of changing their situation is too threatening or overwhelming, according to the Woman's Divorce website. The website encourages friends and relatives to be supportive of an abused spouse, because arguing with and opposing the abused spouse can feel like further abuse.
Help
Spousal abuse, such as psychological abuse, can result in a form of post-traumatic stress disorder for the abused spouse, according to the article "Understanding the Victims of Spousal Abuse" by Frank M. Ochberg, M.D., at Dr. Irene‘s website. The key to counseling a psychologically abused spouse is support and help from friends and family as well as strategies to extricate the abused person from the relationship.
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