Whether you have a teenage child, a school-aged or both, opening the lines of communication is vital to children's success in life. A study performed by the Waisman Center for Human Development and Neurosciences at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and published in a 2006 issue of "Journal for Specialists in Pediatric Nursing" found that improving parent-child communication can improve your child's academics, reduce health-risk behavior, such as substance abuse, and sexual risk behavior, and improve self-esteem. Make your child converse easily with you by offering a casual and understanding ear.
Step 1
Converse with your child on a daily basis, suggests the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. By making it a daily habit, you relieve some of the awkwardness and tension that can occur when you talk to your child. It's no longer out of the ordinary and strange, but a part of daily life with your child. Start when your child is young so you can incorporate healthy communication as part of your daily routine together.
Step 2
Wait for the right time and the right place before you broach subjects with your child. Sitting your child down in a formal setting and asking point-blank questions could be intimidating for your child, leaving her closed off and resistant to talking. Instead, wait for a more casual moment when talking with you doesn't seem so planned. Car time is ideal for asking about school and friends, or you could ask your child questions after watching an episode of her favorite television show. It makes your conversation seem more casual and free-flowing, and your child is apt to tell you more.
Step 3
Ask more than a "yes or no" question, suggests the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. When you ask "Was school OK today?" or "How did you like your friend's house?," you'll likely get a one-word answer, such as "Yes," "No" or "Fine." When you ask an open-ended question, you give your child no choice but to answer in greater detail. Instead of asking how school went, ask what your child's favorite part of the day was. Or, ask him the most important thing he learned that day. He will have to think about and then articulate his answers, and you'll have the chance for a better conversation.
Step 4
Limit your conversations so they are brief and to the point. Dr. William Sears, associate clinical professor of Pediatrics at the University of California, Irvine, School of Medicine, says children can lose interest quickly, so by keeping your conversations brief, your child will be more likely to speak with you again as he learns that you can take things in stride. Strive to connect for at least 2 minutes a day, and you may find that it's your child who wants to keep the conversation going.
References
- Journal for Specialists in Pediatric Nursing, Jan. 2006: Parent–Child Communication Processes: Preventing Children's Health-Risk Behavior
- U.S. Department of Health and Human Services: Talk With Your Child
- National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism: Make a Difference
- AskDrSears.com: 25 Ways to Talk So Your Children Will Listen
