In open adoptions, adoption records remain available to all parties. Typically, adoptive and birth parents go on to have some form of a relationship. Open adoptions are popular because they give birth and adoptive parents peace of mind, and they give adopted children the opportunity to connect with their past. However, there are potential risks in open adoptions that everyone involved should consider.
Risk for Birth Parents
Professor Marianne Berry, Ph.D. of the School of Social Welfare at the University of Kansas, outlines the potential risks of open adoption for birth parents, in an article for the Princeton University Journal's Adoption Issue. She notes that, as a birth parent, accepting the grief, doubt and loss that come with giving up a child--and understanding that these feelings are normal--is an important part of the healing process. If you are confident in your decision to give up your child, and feel that you can cope with your loss, maintaining contact with your child's adoptive parents may be beneficial to you. However, if you are not able to deal with your negative feelings in a healthy way, an open adoption may lead to problems. It may not give you the closure that you need to move on, and may even prolong your grief and impede your healing process, especially if you feel that you were pressured into choosing adoption. Receiving updates about your child's milestones may open fresh wounds and make you think of all you are missing. In addition, it may be difficult for you to accept that you have no say in how your child is raised, particularly if your parenting style differs greatly from that of the adoptive parents.
Risks for Adoptive Parents
Berry goes on to list potential risks for adoptive parents. As an adoptive parent, having your child's biological parents in your life may make make it more difficult for you to bond with your child. It may even make you feel that she is never fully "yours." Her birth parents may feel entitled to have a say in how she is raised, or to have more contact with her than you might like. In cases where the birth mother is very young and comes from difficult circumstances, she may come to see you as surrogate parents herself. FindLaw notes that, in addition, you may always feel anxious that continuous contact with your child will cause her birth parents to regret their choice, and even try to reclaim her.
Risks to Children
Depending on the birth parents' involvement level, an open adoption may interfere with the bonding process between a child and his adopted parents, according to Berry. An older child may become confused as to who his parents really are, and even feel conflicted in his loyalties. Birth parents and adoptive parents can avoid some of these risks if they set clear guidelines and expectations, and if contact by birth parents is limited.
