Self-confidence is an intangible quality that can make the difference between success or failure in nearly every area of your life. Although raising your self-confidence in one area--such as your ability to play table tennis--may not raise your overall self-confidence, certain psychological techniques have been developed that can help you raise your level of confidence toward reaching nearly every challenge you face. Although these techniques will not result in overnight changes in your attitudes toward your abilities, consistent use will gradually nourish your overall self-confidence.
Step 1
Develop meta-awareness of your own thinking. The Mayo Clinic advises people to make a habit of mentally cataloging their thoughts, especially during moments of stress. If you practice this skill diligently, over time awareness of your own thoughts will gradually become second nature to you.
Step 2
Identify your counterproductive thinking patterns. The Mayo Clinic identifies a number of common negative thinking patterns such as "all-or-nothing" thinking, confusing feelings for facts, and jumping to negative conclusions. The benchmarks by which you should judge these thoughts are accuracy and utility. An inaccurate thought is almost always counterproductive, while an accurate but unpleasant thought may or may not be, depending on whether or not it helps you overcome challenges.
Step 3
Challenge your counterproductive thoughts. This requires you to intervene in your thought processes and deliberately replace counterproductive thoughts with productive ones. An example might be replacing, "She looked upset when I walked in because she is angry with me" with: "She might be having a bad day." This is assuming that there is no persuasive reason to believe otherwise.
Step 4
Set realistic goals and achieve them. You should set a series of small goals that you can achieve frequently, leading to a valued long-term goal, such as gradually increasing the length of your daily run in preparation for a marathon. Psychologist Jim Taylor, Ph.D., adjunct professor at the University of San Francisco, advises that thorough preparation is a key to self-confidence.
Step 5
Record your achievements and review them periodically. Keep a "goal log" and catalog even small triumphs in detail. This is one way to help yourself intervene in your counterproductive thinking with concrete facts rather than vague platitudes.
As well, any difficulties you face in reaching your goals should allow you to temper your self-confidence with a healthy dose of reality. If you can't run five miles, for example, there is no point in signing up for a marathon. On the other hand, if you have successfully run marathons in practice, there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to do so in front of a crowd of spectators.
Tips and Warnings
- Developing self-confidence, the belief in your ability to do something as well as developing self-esteem, the belief in your own ultimate value, are closely related skills. You can use meta-awareness and positive thinking to achieve self-esteem as well as self-confidence.
- Aim to build a realistic level of self-confidence. Repeated failures due to overconfidence can quickly destroy not only overconfidence, but also your justified self-confidence.
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