For teenagers, adjusting to the loss of a parent, sibling or close friend can be particularly painful. Even without the additional stress of grief, teen years can be tumultuous and challenging. Changing body image, feelings, attachments and behavior--along with the struggle to establish an identity separate from the family--can make this an overwhelming time. When a father, mother or other significant person dies, the loss can seem shattering. The American Hospice Foundation reports that one out of 10 teens will have to face the death of a loved one before turning 18. Although your teen will have to grieve in his own way, there are things you can do to to let him know he's not alone.
Step 1
Listen carefully and non-judgmentally to what your teen has to say. Acknowledge his grief, and let him know how much you care about his well-being. If you have ideas on how the teen could ease his pain, try to introduce them gently. Beyond Indigo states that teens respond better to adults who choose to be companions on the grief journey rather than direct it. If the loss has affected you as well, sharing your own feelings of grief may help you and your teen.
Step 2
Help your teen find a peer counseling group. The American Hospice Foundation notes that teens often trust their peers above all others, and that peer counseling can play an important role in helping distressed teens communicate with classmates and friends. Peer counseling groups have counselors who are trained in helping their peers cope with depression, grief, and communication issues with parents and other adults. Trained peer counselors will also know their limitations, and when to seek support and consultation from the peer counseling teachers.
Step 3
Encourage--but don't push--your teen to join a grief support group. These groups are typically organized by age and type of bereavement, and participants can share their experiences while learning from the experiences of others.
Step 4
Provide opportunities for your teen to channel his pain into creativity. Tape up blank mural paper so your teen can contribute spontaneous writing or drawing. Consider buying your teen a journal in which he may choose to write a eulogy, letter or poem. If your teen is musical, he may want to write a song in memory of his loved one. Other options for expressing grief through creativity are creating a website or making a collage.
Step 5
Offer physical support in the form of healthy food and snacks, and try to see that your teen gets some form of physical exercise daily. The Healing Place stresses the importance of proper nutrition and physical outlets in managing grief. Rollerblading, skateboarding, cycling, and organized intramural sports are all good options.
Step 6
Watch your teen for signs that he may need help beyond what grief support or peer counseling can offer. Maintain a list with current phone numbers of professional therapists and mental health centers that specialize in teens and grief, and schedule an appointment if your teen exhibits dramatic behavior changes, withdrawal, difficulty sleeping, anger, guilt, substance abuse, skipping school or acting out sexually.
Things You'll Need
- Blank mural paper
- Tape
- Journal (optional)
- Old photos for collage (optional)
- Scissors (optional)
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