The loss of a spouse or significant other can be a debilitating event no matter when in your life it happens. Once the death occurs, it may feel like you will never be able to open your heart to another person. However, it is important to get back into the dating scene once you are ready. Dating after a death can be difficult but, by taking it in steps, you can make the transition successfully.
Step 1
Grieve for the loss of your loved one. According to "Coping with Grief" by the Western Washington University's Counseling Center, two of the most important things for this process are to take time to accept the death and to let the person go. You cannot move on if you are still grieving for your partner.
Step 2
Make some decisions about what you are looking for in life and relationships. The Western Washington University pamphlet calls this step "Taking Time to Feel Good About Yourself." This is the time in your life when you get to make some adult decisions about what you need in a relationship--romantic or otherwise--and cut out anything that's not part of it.
Step 3
Reach out to people with interests like yours. Take a class or join a social group. Even if you find no romantic options in the new group, you may be able to make friends. These interactions can help to open up your social circle.
Step 4
Allow a new relationship to happen. According to "I Do Take Two," a new relationship may feel like a betrayal of your old one. Survivors of a deceased loved one may feel like they are "cheating" on their old partner. A new love should and will feel different, and that's okay.
Step 5
Take it slow. Don't go farther or faster in the relationship than you are ready for. If you were with your partner for a long time, it may be difficult to get into the same level of comfort with someone else. Be open and honest with a prospective partner about your needs.
Step 6
Talk to your partner. I Do Take Two recommends speaking about everything in your life to make sure you are on the same page. In your youth, you didn't have the experience of life that you do now. With many years of life behind you, you can talk to a new significant other about everything that's important--religion, money and lifestyles.
Tips and Warnings
- Don't feel bad if your first--or even second and third--attempts do not work. Test the waters until you find the person who fits with you.
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