Self-improvement writer Dr. Maxwell Maltz states, “Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on.” A healthy self-esteem helps a child to find his way through the world with confidence and security. A child who feels secure and confident faces challenges without fear. Parents can help their child to build a solid foundation and healthy self-esteem.
Praise the Positives
Many people find it easier to point out the bad and take the good things for granted. This creates a negative atmosphere for a child and may make her feel as if the good things are not being noticed or are simply not worth doing. Children respond well to encouragement, so make a sincere effort every day to notice the positive things that your child does and praise him for them.
Criticizing your child’s actions is inevitable, but do not phrase it so that your child feels ridiculed or shamed. The Child Development Institute recommends using language like “I would like you to keep your room neat.” instead of “Why are you such a slob?”
Provide a Safe, Loving Environment
A child who does not receive love or feel safe at home is sure to suffer from low self-esteem. This does not necessarily mean that the child suffers from abuse or neglect in the home. Parents that continually argue in front of their children or do not provide a stable home can also cause a child to feel insecure resulting in low self-esteem.
Watch for signs of abuse or bullying with their friends, in school or at the daycare center. If your child becomes depressed or withdrawn, and there are no problems at home, look to the outside environments where your child spends time. Deal with any problems quickly but sensitively so that your child feels secure and safe.
Support Healthy Risk-Taking
Some parents try to insulate their children from failure by not allowing them to take risks and try new things. Trying new experiences is a healthy learning experience for children and helps them to develop confidence and critical thinking skills. Along with the risk comes the reward that the child has succeeded, which is extremely valuable in building self-esteem.
Failure is an inherent risk when trying something new, and your child needs to learn that you are there to support her and to help her think about what she can do differently the next time that she tries. Teach your child that it is okay to make mistakes by openly admitting when you goof up. This type of openness makes it easier for your child to come to terms with his own shortcomings.
Listen to Your Youngster
Many children do not feel as if the adults around them feel that what they have to say is important, making it more difficult for them to develop a healthy self-esteem. Practice active listening skills with your child, involve them in family decisions when appropriate and implement some of their suggestions when feasible. Let them know that you value what they have to say so that they feel like an integral and constructive member of the family.
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