Infidelity in a marriage can be devastating, and may lead to divorce or violence. The reasons for cheating are varied, and are usually not as simple as a desire for more frequent or exciting sex. Knowing some of the reasons for infidelity can help you recognize it when trouble appears, and may prevent a situation from spiraling out of control.
Lack of Intimacy
Infidelity is not usually caused by an uncontrollable sex drive or weak-mindedness, but rather dissatisfaction with the lack of intimacy between a couple, Reena Sommer, Ph.D., explains. Intimacy is the bond that links two individuals together emotionally, sexually and spiritually. This bond can be affected if the partners do not feel and communicate their connectedness with each other. Directing emotional energy to a job, children, friends or coworkers instead of the marriage can cause this bond to dissolve. A partner may then begin to reconnect emotionally with another person, which can lead to an affair. Making a relationship is the responsibility of both partners, and you should make an effort to stay attuned to your spouse’s need for a connection.
Multiple Sex Partners Before Marriage
Sexual activity releases powerful hormones that help couples stay together and build trust, according to True Love Revolution, a Harvard College student organization. When people have numerous casual sex partners before marriage, and these relationships end, it causes a break in that natural bond. This can lead to a sense of loss, betrayal, unwelcome memories and other problems. These can affect a marriage later on. The organization states that having multiple sex partners before marriage increases depression and higher rates of infidelity and divorce in future marriages.
Boredom
Partners who do not challenge each other with enough excitement to keep the relationship interesting cheat more, reports Samantha Cleaver in “Flirting with Disaster." The desire for self-expansion can lead a husband or wife to be aware of opportunities outside of the marriage, opening the door to infidelity. Spouses should communicate their desires for growth, set goals and help each other to achieve them. Taking classes together, booking a spontaneous weekend trip or going to an unfamiliar cultural event can provide enough excitement to keep partners involved and interested in each other.
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