Ways of Solving Conflict

Ways of Solving Conflict
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Even the most compatible friends, the most stable of couples and the most like-minded colleagues will experience conflicts now and again. When people have different ideas and experiences, they are bound to have opposing opinions. Conflicts do not have to be negative, though. When resolved in a constructive manner, conflicts can bring about change, new ideas and a strengthened relationship.

Listen and Explain

Resolving conflict means coming to an agreement, which you cannot do if you don't fully understand one another. Set a timer and allow the other party to state his case. Do not interrupt during this time. When the timer is up, reset it and explain your position, again without any interruption. You will likely find some common ground on which to begin resolving your dispute.

Argue Maturely

When you have a conflict, arguing is acceptable as long as you do so fairly. Understand your goals and do not drag in unrelated offenses or differences. Avoid name-calling or insults, and start sentences with "I" rather than "You." For instance, "I feel as though doing it this way will be more expensive" is less aggressive than "You don't care how much it is going to cost." When neither of you feels attacked, you are likelier to remain open and come to a resolution.

Choose Your Battles

Determine which points or terms on which you do not want to waiver. When you are discussing options, be willing to concede to the other person's wishes on those topics about which you are not adamant. Reserve your strongest assertions for those aspects about which you are passionate.

Walk Away

When your discussion seems to be going in circles and no resolution is in sight, consider putting off any further dialog for a specified period. Depending on your need for a solution, this may be an hour, a day or even a week. Leaving it alone for a while allows you both to clear your head, calm down and come up with other solutions. If all else fails, consider bringing in an impartial party to mediate.

References

Article reviewed by Dan Mausner Last updated on: Jul 12, 2010

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