Hearing and listening are very different . Hearing is a physical process of perceiving sound. Listening is required to get meaning from that sound. Good listening skills are the backbone of proper communication. You can teach children how to be good listeners from an early age so they will have a valuable skill as they mature.
Step 1
Teach your kids to listen without interrupting when someone speaks, and do the same when they are speaking. Youngsters easily get impatient; Jodie Lynn of Family.com suggests practicing listening skills in a game.
When they interrupt, use a signal or phrase that means they must immediately stop talking. For example, it could be pointing to your ears, putting your finger to your lips or saying "Listening ears!" to a younger child. It could also be, "No interruptions," or "Patience!" for an older kid. Let them use it on you, too. This shows everyone that they can expect to speak freely.
Step 2
Ask your kids to tell you what you said when you are done speaking. This is called reflection, according to teacher and author Leah Davies, M.Ed., and it reduces interruption attempts because they must concentrate on what you are saying. Correct them if they misunderstood. Do the same when they speak, and allow them to clarify any misunderstandings on your part. This skill can initially be taught as a game and then incorporated into family conversations.
Step 3
Teach your kids to "listen" for tone and body language, too. Demonstrate at appropriate times. For example, you might say, "I asked how your day went, and you said 'It was just great,' but your tone was angry and your eyes are red like you've been crying. That makes me think something might have happened." The BBC explains the emotion meaning behind words or actions is as important as what a person actually says.
Step 4
Instruct your kids to take notes when listening to a teacher in school. This forces them to pay attention so they can write down the information accurately. It also focuses their attention helping to prevent distractions.
Tips and Warnings
- Lynn states even very young children can learn listening skills if you teach them in age-appropriate ways. For example, use dolls or action figures for a role-playing game that incorporates listening. Reading to yours kids regularly also helps them become good listeners.
- You cannot expect your children to listen to you if you do not foster mutual respect. The entire family should be committed to using healthy communications methods. This means giving everyone, including the kids, a chance to be heard. You do not have to agree with them, and they certainly won't always agree with you, but everyone should feel safe speaking without being interrupted or belittled.
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