Yesterday, your child was little, missing teeth and cute. Today, he’s as tall as you and his moods are enough to peel the wallpaper from your walls. You need to know how to deal with the being who seems to have replaced your cuddly little boy. You can keep up with the maturational changes that trigger his moods. As he begins to challenge your authority and ask, “why,” you need to have new skills in place that disengage the power struggles.
Step 1
Adapt to your teen’s changes in mood and attitude. Where she was once a sweet, happy and easy-to-get-along with child, she seems to have changed, overnight, into a girl you don’t know. Her moods change suddenly, from giggling one moment to moody or even crying the next. You and your spouse are dealing with more developmental change in your child than you have ever had to confront, says The Parents Zone. Don’t allow your teen’s prickly moods to halt communication--she needs this now more than she has in the past.
Step 2
Watch your teen’s behaviors closely. If you notice that he is teasing or bullying his peers, sit down with him and ask him why he feels the need to make someone else feel bad. The teen who feels good about himself doesn’t feel as if he has to tease others in order to make himself feel better, according to the Oprah website. Teens who feel the need to put someone else down are feeling insecure.
Step 3
Pull back from any power struggles your teen might be trying to force you into. For instance, if you or your spouse are arguing frequently with your teen about doing homework, acknowledge her dislike of her assignments, but don’t give in and allow her to slide on what she knows she’s supposed to be doing. Give her a solid consequence--let her know that, if she doesn’t do it, she loses access to something she likes to do, such as going to the mall with her girlfriends, recommends the Empowering Parents website.
Step 4
Sit down with your teen on a regular basis. Keep your relationship with her close. Discuss risky behaviors that she might see her friends and acquaintances taking part in. Explain why some of the behaviors are risky and why. Let her know she can come to you if she begins to feel peer pressure from her friends, writes The Parents Zone.
Step 5
Discuss teen and dating violence with your teenager. As he begins to date, let him know that abusive behavior is not acceptable and why. If he is dating a girl who is violent, he needs to learn that she is doing so because she wants to control him. Her abusive behavior is not loving, according to the Oprah website.
Tips and Warnings
- Before your child becomes a teen, make sure she knows she can trust you to listen to her and help her. Stay current on the issues confronting teens, such as drinking, self-injury, dating violence, drugs, alcohol and bullying.
- If your teen’s behaviors are already risky, seek intervention from his doctor or a mental health counselor.
