Children come into this world as a bundle of needs, desires and impulses. While they are born with a propensity to seek approval and attention, they are not born knowing how to behave properly. The task of teaching a child how to act appropriately is the formidable responsibility of parents, teachers and other caretakers. Children who fail to acquire socially acceptable, healthy ways of dealing with the day-to-day challenges of life face immediate social consequences and can develop long-term patterns of emotional problems, defiance, misconduct and maladaptation, notes the journal "Archives of Disease in Childhood."
Assess the Problem
Step 1
Assess the nature and severity of your child’s behavior issues. Make a list of your child's various problems. Include any behaviors that are disruptive or cause concern to you or to others. Include lying, stealing, refusing to go to bed, temper tantrums, bullying, whining, not following directions, being disrespectful or any other behaviors that create problems for you or your child.
Step 2
Review the list, and target specific behaviors that are the most troublesome. Make a chart for how often the behavior occurs. Write down on the chart: (1) the problem behavior; (2) general vulnerability factors such as fatigue, hunger, sleepiness, anxiety and so forth; (3) triggers such as being told “no”, conflict with a sibling or peer, etc.; (4) the location where the problem frequently occurs, such as school, home, store and so forth; and (5) the severity and duration of the misbehavior.
Step 3
If the problems are severe or disruptive, set an appointment for a consultation with a pediatrician and possibly a psychologist. A variety of medical, developmental and psychiatric problems can exacerbate or cause behavior problems, according to Wrong Diagnosis. Allergies, celiac disease, metabolic disorders, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, learning disorders and autism are but a few of the disorders that should be ruled out by a medical expert.
Formulate and Implement a Treatment Plan
Step 1
Speak with your pediatrician about medical treatments that may reduce problem behaviors. For example, children with bipolar disorder are vulnerable to long periods of anger and misbehavior, according to the education support website GreatSchools. Medications are available that can stabilize your child’s behavior and moods. Similarly, many children with ADHD or oppositional defiant disorder may benefit from medications, according to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry.
Step 2
Formulate a behavior management program. Discuss the problem behaviors with your child. Establish clear rules for behavior. Discuss the particular behaviors that are creating problems, and establish positive consequences for appropriate behavior and negative consequences for misbehavior. For example, if your child is disrespectful or aggressive, warn him that he is acting inappropriately, and then tell him what he needs to do. Make your instruction clear. Say, “You are losing your temper. You need to calm down or else you will lose your TV privilege for this afternoon."
Step 3
Use plenty of labeled praise and rewards. Note times when your child might be inclined to misbehave, and praise her when she acts appropriately. For example, tell your daughter you are proud when she accepts a “no" or deals well with a frustrating situation.
Step 4
Help your child identify and deal with the precursor emotions that trigger misbehavior. If your child acts out when angry, anxious or frustrated, label his mood for him. Guide him to develop more positive ways of responding to the situation, such as taking a self-imposed time out or break or going to an adult to ask for help. Encourage him to verbalize his feelings rather than acting impulsively on them.
Tips and Warnings
- Use warnings. Help your child succeed by noting when she is starting to engage in misbehavior. Suggest or discuss positive alternative behaviors with her.
Things You'll Need
- Paper
- Pencil
References
- "Journal of Affective Disorders"; Long-Term Outcomes of Youth Who Manifested the CBCL-Pediatric Bipolar Disorder Phenotype During Childhood and/or Adolescence; Stephanie Meyer et al; March 2009
- American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry: Children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder
- "Archives of Disease in Childhood"; The CBCL as a Screen for Psychiatric Comorbidity in Paediatric Patients with ADHD; J. Biederman et al; 2005
- Athealth.com: Helping Young Children Deal with Anger
- American Academy of Family Physicians: Child Behavior: What Parents Can Do to Change Their Child's Behavior
