Stuck between the innocence of childhood and the responsibilities and temptations of adulthood, teenagers are incredibly vulnerable to trouble. Relationships, school, drugs and alcohol, friends, divorce and myriad other issues can lead to problems. But teens can also be amazingly resilient and bounce back from problems or work through challenges as long as they get the proper support at home, school and anywhere else that will provide healthy assistance. The biggest key to helping a troubled teen is vigilance, from watching for warning signs of trouble to making sure your teen gets to counseling sessions on time.
Watch for Trouble Signs
Step 1
Keep an eye out for changes in your teen's mood, behavior, school performance, friends, language and physical health. In many cases, a change in a teen's attitude toward school or to family members, or noticeable changes in appearance, can help signal signs of trouble. The Texas-based Heartlight Ministries, which provides help for adolescents and their families, lists among the major warning signs a refusal by a teen to observe boundaries and do anything requested.
Step 2
If you suspect problems, ask your teen's teachers or even his friends if they have noticed anything different or troubling. Sometimes a teenager will more readily confide in a friend or a teacher before going to a parent with problems or feelings that are difficult to understand.
Step 3
The counselors at Heartlight suggest listening for comments about suicide, hopelessness, self-mutilation or dangerous behaviors. In many cases, a teenager may convey feelings of anger or depression indirectly through statements about suicide or through written means, such as journal entries, emails, Facebook messages or other electronic methods, as well as songs, poems or other artwork.
Talk to Your Teen
Step 1
Be an involved parent, whether there is trouble or not. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) advises parents to take an interest in teenagers' friends and activities. Always talk openly and respectfully with your teen. Kids open up more if they believe their feelings and opinions are not being judged.
Step 2
The AAP also advises against yelling, name-calling and threatening, because these approaches will almost always make matters worse. If you sense your teen is having troubles, recognize it as a problem to be solved rather than an opportunity to berate or cast blame.
Step 3
Use such phrases as "It seems like you and your friend aren't getting along. Is everything okay?" and "I'd like to talk with you about your report card, but if this isn't a good time, maybe we can discuss it after dinner." Make sure your teen knows you're involved and concerned, but that you want him to be an equal participant in deciding how the conversation will proceed.
Finding Help
Step 1
A school guidance counselor may be a good place to start, since she may be more familiar with how the teen acts around his peers and in the classroom. She may recommend a family counselor or a mental-health professional who specializes in teen behavior, but it's still good to alert those at school to be on the lookout for signs of trouble.
Step 2
Your family pediatrician should be among the first people you consult, the AAP recommends, because your child's doctor knows your teen and can help spot issues such as drug and alcohol use, sexual activity, depression, anxiety and more.
Step 3
If you know that drugs or alcohol abuse is a problem for your teen, consult drug-interdiction programs in your community for the best way to approach your teen and see about getting him into a program. Some are in-patient programs that may start with a few days in a treatment center, followed by out-patient counseling.
Step 4
Ask around among parents, school officials and anyone else you can think of for suggestions about family counselors who might be a good fit for you and your teen. Do not hesitate to seek a therapist or counselor. If your teen had heart trouble, you would make sure to get a good cardiologist. Don't hesitate in finding a professional to help with your teen's mental health, too.
Tips and Warnings
- Consider the feelings, fears and challenges you had as a teen, and understand that many of those feelings are universal. Talk with other parents of teens, because even if you don't get solid advice, you may get some good moral support. Try to provide as stable and secure a home life as possible.
- Take conversations about suicide or other acts of violence seriously, and seek advice immediately.
