Divorce causes everyone involved to feel a wide range of emotions, from confusion to anger and guilt. Toddlers are just beginning to understand the world and relationships, making divorce confusing for them. A toddler realizes his life has changed when one parent moves out, but he doesn't understand why things are changing. He may react to the divorce in many different ways, such as sleep problems, temper tantrums, aggression, crying or crankiness. Helping your toddler through the divorce takes patience, consistency and sensitivity to his feelings.
Step 1
Discuss how to handle your toddler with your former spouse. Put aside your differences as much as possible to come to an agreement about raising your child to create consistency.
Step 2
Create a set of simple, clear rules for your toddler. Enforce the rules consistently. The rules help address potential behavior problems that stem from the divorce. Avoid being too strict or too lenient, both of which are common in divorces, according to the University of Missouri Extension.
Step 3
Establish a routine for your toddler. The routine creates familiarity and a sense of security. If possible, keep a similar schedule in both homes when it comes to things that include bedtime and meals.
Step 4
Answer your toddler's questions about the divorce or the new living arrangements honestly and patiently. A toddler is likely to ask the same questions, particularly when it comes to seeing the other parent, according to the University of Missouri Extension. Realize that your toddler likely doesn't understand your answers fully, which may cause him to ask the same questions repeatedly.
Step 5
Spend quality time with your toddler, giving her your love and attention. You will likely feel a range of negative emotions due to the divorce, but it your child still needs your affection to feel loved and secure.
Step 6
Help your child express his feelings about the situation. Toddlers often experience difficulty in putting their emotions into words. Let your child know that feeling sad, angry or confused is acceptable and normal. Be sensitive to his changing emotions, even if he can't tell you how he is feeling.
Step 7
Allow for extra time during the transition from one home to the other. Don't rush your toddler into saying good-bye. Give her a chance to ease into the transition and feel comfortable with leaving one home and going to the other.
Step 8
Alert your child's caregiver about the change in the family. This allows the caregiver to better understand changes he may see in your child.
Tips and Warnings
- Avoid talking negatively about your former spouse in front of your toddler.
