Parents and educators play an important role in helping children develop self-confidence. Childhood self-confidence is a major factor in emotional development and mental health. Children with healthy self-confidence tend to be more creative and make friends easily. Self-confidence levels also have important implications for personality development as the child grows into adulthood. Caregivers can use several tactics to improve a child’s self-confidence.
What Is Self-Confidence?
Self-confidence is an aspect of overall self-esteem. The Texas Children’s Hospital defines self-confidence as “a collection of positive beliefs and feelings that your child has about him or herself.” Children with a healthy sense of self-confidence feel optimistic about their abilities and believe they are valuable members of their peer groups. They feel that their opinions and ideas are important to their parents and educators.
Signs of Low Self-Confidence
Children with low self-confidence tend to have a hard time interacting with other children, and they find making and maintaining friendships difficult. They are often hesitant to try new things, giving the excuse of “I know I can’t do it.” Children with low-self confidence often make false generalizations about themselves, such as “I got a bad grade in science class, I’m just stupid.” These children may also express general dislike for themselves or wish to be someone else, according to the National Network for Child Care.
Causes of Low Self-Confidence
Parental expectations are a major factor in a child’s self-confidence. When expectations are too low, children are not motivated to try new things and achieve milestones. A child may also believe that his parents’ low expectations are his fault, because he is not smart enough or good enough to achieve. Expectations that are consistently too high set children up for failure and create a cycle of anxiety.
Parental response is another aspect of a child’s self-confidence. Constant criticism creates feelings of never being able to do anything right. A lack of recognition or insincere praise for achievements is damaging, as well, says kidshealth.org.
Effects of Low Self-Confidence
A health and developmental study followed a group of children from birth through adulthood, and the American Psychological Association reported its findings on the long-term effects of low self-esteem. Adults who had low self-esteem as children were more likely to experience mental health problems including depression, anxiety and tobacco dependency. These subjects were more likely to drop out of high school and less likely to attend college. They also had a higher incidence of criminal conviction, particularly for violent crime. Low self-esteem even has negative implications for physical health; the study found links between low self-esteem and poor cardio-respiratory health.
Building Self-Confidence
Parents and educators can help build a child’s self-confidence through their responses and expectations. As the National Network for Child Care states, “Tell children what to do instead of what not to do.” For example, instead of telling a child “Don’t wear those muddy shoes in the house,” say instead, “Please take off your shoes before you come in the house.”
Constructive criticism is an important part of learning. When a child makes a mistake, make sure he understands what he did wrong and what he could do differently the next time. Be mindful of your tone and expression, and avoid criticizing him in front of others. Offer sincere praise for every achievement, even small ones. Create opportunities in which your child can succeed.
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