The loss of a pet can be especially hard for a young child. In some cases, your child may not remember life without their beloved friend. When a family pet dies, it's important to validate your child's feelings and allow them to grieve in a healthy way. The length and type of grieving doesn't matter, but as a parent, it's your duty to lend an understanding ear so your child can communicate sadness and fears upon the loss of a family pet.
Step 1
Prepare your child for the death of a pet if possible, suggests veterinarian Holly Nash, contributing vet for the Drs. Foster and Smith, Inc. web site PetEducation.com. If your pet is aging or has health problems, it's important to explain to your child the steps that will happen before the death of the pet. For instance, if you know that your aging cat doesn't have much time left, explain that your child's pet has gotten older and enjoyed life, and it will soon die. This will make the death less of a shock when the pet passes on.
Step 2
Explain the death of the pet in a way that is appropriate for your child's age level. While a two- to three-year-old understands the loss, they may not understand death and its permanence, says the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement. A four- to six-year-old understands death but not its permanence. A seven- to nine-year-old knows death is irreversible and may become preoccupied with the thought of death and dying. Once your child reaches the age of ten, she is equipped to understand death and the grieving process.
Step 3
Avoid using euphemisms when you explain the loss of a pet to a child, warns Kaboose magazine. Saying that the animal simply "went to sleep" or "went away for a while" can confuse your child and leave him waiting for the return of his beloved pet. Stating that the pet died and will not return may seem harsh, but it's a more honest and healthier way to explain the events to a child with a limited understanding of death and dying.
Step 4
Encourage your child to memorialize the family pet in some way. Some children will enjoy a memorial service held with poems and music, others will prefer to simply talk about their feelings. Acknowledge your child's sadness, and let her know that it's normal to feel upset and sad after losing a pet. Allow her plenty of opportunities to vocalize her feelings.
Step 5
Wait to get a new pet for your child. Getting a new animal, especially one that looks like the old pet, can feel tempting as a way to ease your child's pain. But the Humane Society warns that getting a new pet when you and your child aren't yet emotionally ready can make your child feel guilty and upset when spending time with a new pet. Wait a few months until your child has gained closure and acceptance before you approach the idea of getting a new pet.
