When a beloved pet dies, the entire family grieves; it's a natural reaction to a genuine loss. For children, however, the death of a pet is often their first exposure to death in general, and it can be very confusing and traumatic for them. As a parent, it's important for you to avoid trivializing this grief and confusion. According to Kids Health, you can't shield your child from the heartbreak of pet loss, but you can guide them through it with honesty and compassion.
Step 1
Be honest. When telling your child the bad news, you should avoid euphemisms, half-truths, and flat-out lies, Kids Health reports. Telling your child that Fido went to live on a farm is only likely to cause later confusion and is unlikely to detract from the feeling of loss. Sensitively explain to your child that his pet has died. If your child asks you what happens after death, Kids Health suggests explaining your own understanding of life after death. It's also OK to tell them you're not sure.
Step 2
Address their fears. During some developmental stages, your child's incomplete understanding of death might cause them to fear that they will die or that you or other family members might also be taken from them. According to the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement, children between the ages of seven and nine tend to be especially inquisitive about death and may ask questions you find disturbing. Be patient and open to alleviating their concerns. For younger children, the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement suggests avoiding too much detail in your explanations.
Step 3
Help your child express their grief. Encourage your child to make drawings or write stories about the lost pet, the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement suggests. Recalling happy memories also encourages them to remember and grieve.
Allow them to cry and express their loss. Remember, your child may also be grappling with other complex emotions such as anger about the perceived abandonment by the pet. This is normal, reports Kids Health. Talk about these feelings with your child and assure them that they are normal.
Step 4
Help your child pay tribute to the lost pet. The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement suggests you help your child create a memorial to the pet. You may want to plant a tree in memory of the pet, create a scrapbook, or scatter the pet's ashes at a special location. Whatever you choose, allow your child to feel active in the decision-making process. This allows them to recall the pet in a fond and happy way.
