Children absorb everything, ranging from positive compliments to negative words that can hurt deeply. Continued ridicule can lead to feelings of shame and low self-worth, and, ultimately, poor self-esteem. KidsHealth.org, part of the Nemours Foundation, defines self-esteem as a way someone can recognize how great they are and that they are worthy of being accepted among others. When self-esteem is shattered, it can lead to emotional and physical problems in children.
Singled Out
Not all children receive nurturing support from their family and peers. While most parents are a positive influence on their children, others may say or do things that sabotage a child’s self-esteem. This can be done both knowingly and unknowingly. Parents may say things that make a child feel they are not good enough or are unable to please their parents no matter what they do. Parents may favor an older or younger sibling or one that thrives in sports. Teachers may also play favorites by singling out those who do well--and spotlighting the flaws in other children, which can cause humiliation and a severe blow to their self-esteem.
Time Frame
North Carolina State University explains that children develop self-esteem throughout childhood. At around 18 months of age, they begin to become more independent, as they are able to walk and explore their boundaries. Children who are confined, controlled or told repeatedly that they are doing wrong can suffer damage to self-esteem. Young children entering school can also have their self-esteem threatened by bullying or being teased by their peers in the classroom.
Effects
When a child’s self-esteem is threatened, it can have devastating effects on the child’s developmental and personal characteristics. The Center for Effective Parenting says that if children do not feel loved, or capable or sense their parents have little faith in their intelligence, this could threaten self-esteem. Children who do poorly in school and struggle academically will feel bad about themselves.
Considerations
If your child struggles with self-esteem issues, you can take steps to help him feel better about himself. Start by verbally pointing out her successes and strong points. The Center for Effective Parenting suggests not placing pressure on your child before she does something; instead, stand back and let her learn on her own while offering positive guidance. Focus on the positive rather than the negative. Encourage her to always do her best and try to get her the help she needs if she struggles in math or out on the football field. Never condemn or criticize children when they do something wrong; instead, find a positive aspect in a difficult situation so the child’s self-esteem is not crushed.
Long-Term Effects
Over time, a feeling of low self-worth can lead to problems in adulthood. It can affect how you shape your life, including decisions about college and career. If you think less of yourself when you are a child and teen, as an adult, it can be difficult to approach life with the self-confidence you need to get a job or ask a girl out on a date. Income, employment status, marital status and relationship satisfaction can be less successful if you are not confident with yourself as an adult.
