How To Be A Good Role Model For Children

Children have many role models. Teachers are role models. Celebrities and sports figures are often role models, although they may not think of themselves that way. But the most important role models are parents. To be the kind of person you want your children to emulate, model positive behavior and follow the golden rule by treating others, especially your children, the way you would like to be treated. You will be a good role model for your children and help them be good role models someday for their own children.

Step 1

Model the behavior you want to see. Children are sponges, soaking up everything around them, looking to parents for clues to navigate that world. The younger the children are, the more they will imitate their parents’ behavior, according to the Nemours Foundation. Parents who yell, hit or call names will likely end up with children who do the same. If you swear regularly, you will hear those same words from your children’s mouths at some point. Being respectful is the key. Treat your children and everyone else with respect, and the chances are good that your children will do the same.

Step 2

Respond, don’t react. Be aware that parenting behavior, good and bad, is often a response to your own childhood and the way your parents raised you, according to the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. Keep the best of it and take the opportunity to change the rest. Observe your automatic reactions to your children's behavior and decide whether those reactions convey the messages you really want to get across. Considered responses are more likely to be thoughtful and caring and can often change the tone and outcome of a situation.

Step 3

Be consistent in what you say and what you do, suggests the University of Nebraska, Lincoln. Don’t tell your children not to hit and then spank them for misbehaving. If you teach them that lying is bad and they see you lie to avoid something you would rather not do, they will be confused. Children learn from watching, as well as listening, and sending mixed signals will only lead to your child’s frustration and resentment.

Step 4

Take some time for yourself so that your children will know it's important to consider their own needs, as well as those of others. If you’re taking a night class and will miss tucking the kids in once a week, explain why, listen to their concerns and reassure them. Or, before the babysitter arrives, explain to them that sometimes mommies and daddies need time to be grown-ups and not just parents. When your children see you doing this, they will realize that there's a difference between taking care of themselves and being selfish.

Tips and Warnings

When making choices, take time to explain your thought processes to your children in age-appropriate language, says child development specialist Robyn Silverman. Help them understand why you expect certain behavior. Conversely, when you have made a bad choice, take responsibility, make it right and apologize. Your children will learn that no one is perfect, not even parents, and it’s OK to make mistakes and learn from them.