Domestic abuse occurs when one partner in a relationship uses abusive behaviors to control the other partner, according to DomesticViolence.org. Abuse includes practices such as name calling, social isolation, financial isolation, real or threatened physical harm, sexual assault, stalking or intimidation. If you discover that someone you care about is living with domestic violence, you may need to offer your support to help him through this difficult time.
Step 1
Offer your support. If your friend confides in you, she has taken a large step toward ending the abuse. Listen to what she says, let her know you believe her and assure her that she does not deserve to be abused. Michigan State University further advises validating the strength it took for her to confide in you. While you may offer advice, understand and support the fact that how she handles the situation is her decision.
Step 2
Learn about domestic violence. Call domestic violence resource lines to seek advice about your role as a friend of someone living with domestic violence rather than calling on behalf of your friend, advises the Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence. Resource lines can help you figure out what steps to take and how you can be the most supportive to your friend.
Step 3
Offer information and resources. After contacting domestic violence resource lines you will be armed with plenty of information and community resources. Share this information privately and encourage your friend to seek the help of local advocates and domestic violence hotlines or programs. Do not try to force your friend to listen to the information you wish to share or to seek help. It is important that he seek help because he truly wants help, no because he feels pressured to do so.
Step 4
Help your friend prepare for an emergency. Although your friend may not be ready or able to leave right away, she can develop a plan that will help her react calmly and keep herself safe if her partner becomes abusive again. Helpguide.com suggests identifying safe areas of the home that she can escape to if her partner becomes abusive. These areas should not be small enclosed spaces such as a closet. Instead, identify areas of the home that have access to an exit and a telephone. Also, avoid rooms with weapons that the abuser may use against your friend. During this planning stage, you may also encourage your friend to develop a code word she can use to alert friends or family she may be able to contact that she is in danger.
Step 5
Help your friend develop a safety plan. If your friend must react to an emergency, he will likely need to escape the situation to remain safe. Help him think of steps he can take to make escape easier. He should be ready to leave immediately. This means keeping gas in the car and parking the vehicle to face the exit with the driver's door unlocked. Also, keep a spare car key somewhere easily accessible and have money, clothing and important phone numbers and documents kept somewhere safe. Further, encourage your friend to practice his escape and to have any children practice as well. Emergency contacts, trusted friends or family members and domestic violence hotline numbers should be memorized.
Step 6
Call the police. If you see or hear domestic violence occurring, do not hesitate. Hearing domestic abuse may cause you to pause, waiting to make sure it truly warrants a call to the police. Do not let this happen! Domestic abuse is serious and can result in death. It is better to call the police and have them discover no abuse than to not call the police and later find that your friend is badly battered.
References
- DomesticViolence.org: Definition
- Michigan State University: How to Help Someone Who is Experiencing Domestic Violence
- Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence: What To Do if You Know a Friend, Relative, Neighbor or Coworker is Being Abused at Home
- Helpguide.org: Help for Abused and Battered Women
- WomensHealth.gov: Ways to Prevent and End Violence
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