If you and your partner encounter issues in the relationship that seem unsolvable or insurmountable, therapy and marriage counseling, also called couples counseling, may be an option. Problems necessitating therapy may occur in a relationship due to a variety of factors, including unresolved childhood issues, external stresses that affect the marriage or major problems like infidelity or abuse.
Purpose
According to MayoClinic.com, marriage counseling and therapy are used to help a couple improve communication and resolve conflict in the relationship. Marriage counseling addresses problems such as money issues, anger, infidelity, sexual problems, verbal or emotional abuse and substance abuse. You don't have to be married to participate in marriage counseling. Many couples that are dating or engaged consult a counselor or therapist to help resolve potential problems before marriage. Couples who are divorced may also see a therapist together in order to work out differences of opinion regarding their children.
Counselors
Different types of professionals offer therapy and marriage counseling. Some marriage counselors are marriage and family therapists with Masters or PhD degrees. Others are licensed clinical social workers. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, or AAMFT, offers credentials to individuals who have had the necessary schooling to qualify, typically graduate-level training in psychotherapy and family dynamics.
Choosing
On the Marriage Builders website, Dr. Willard F. Harley suggests getting a referral from friends or family members to help find a good counselor. You should consider whether a potential therapist would suit both you and your spouse before deciding to use them. It's also a good idea to ask any potential therapist how long he's been practicing, what his style of therapy is like and how appointments will be scheduled.
Styles
Different counselors may use different styles of therapy to help couples. Some use psychoanalysis to seek out the underlying mental or emotional causes each partner may have, such as unrealistic expectations about relationships or childhood patterns that contribute to current behavior. Other counselors may take a more behavioral approach, teaching couples specific techniques they can use with each other to improve communication and change problem behaviors.
Appointments
Most of the time, both partners will attend marriage counseling and therapy together, but occasionally only one partner will go, especially in cases where the other partner doesn't believe in counseling or feels uncomfortable talking to a stranger about problems in the relationship. In a typical appointment, both partners will have a chance to speak and address their individual concerns and are generally encouraged to work together to find solutions with the therapist acting as mediator and offering suggestions. Marriage therapy usually lasts a few months and is considered a short-term form of counseling.
