When you move to a new town or state, finding friends isn’t always easy, especially if you tend to be shy or reserved. Often, however, making new friends requires feeling secure being alone, which can help build your self-confidence and attract people into your life. “The first trick to finding friends is to befriend ourselves,“ writes “World of Psychology” contributor Therese J. Borchard, “and to become comfortable with silence, because no one has the power to make us feel okay with ourselves but us.”
Step 1
Introduce yourself to your neighbors, and get to know them well. Hold a housewarming party or a barbecue, or invite them over for dinner or coffee. If you make the first gesture, chances are they’ll return the favor. More than likely, they will introduce you to their friends, as well, especially if you let them know you’re new to the area.
Step 2
Establish friendships at work. If you work outside the home, make friends at your place of business by arranging group lunches or after-work get-togethers. In general, people jump at the chance to blow off steam after work and relax in casual environments, especially over drinks or appetizers. Suggest fun group activities such as bowling, karaoke or pub trivia nights.
Step 3
Join a club or sports team. Choose an activity that interests and excites you, and then find an organization that sponsors events and get-togethers. Join a book or board game club, an outdoors organization or a softball league, or find a group of people with whom you can walk or hike. You’ll meet like-minded individuals who share some of your interests.
Step 4
Attend services at a house of worship, if you are spiritual or religious. Find a church, temple, mosque or other religious institution. You don’t have to become a member right away. Rather, visit several places to find one that’s a good fit for your beliefs and practices, and where you feel comfortable and welcome. Take part in classes, outings and other events that your chosen house of worship sponsors.
Step 5
Volunteer int he community. Choose one or more causes about which you’re passionate, such as animal rights and welfare, adult literacy or a political candidate or cause. Working as a team often creates strong bonds between people, and you’ll meet individuals who help support the values and beliefs you hold dear.
Step 6
Smile and be positive and outgoing, because the next person you meet could become a lifelong friend. “Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it,“ writes Dale Carnegie in the bestselling, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” He adds, “To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds.”
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