Parenting presents challenges no matter what the temperament of your child. However, when your child displays behaviors that are intense, persistent and oppositional, parenting becomes even more challenging. These children often are identified as strong-willed. Strong-willed children usually think they know best, and they often are unwilling to cooperate or compromise with parents or others. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to help you maintain your sanity while guiding your strong-willed child on his journey through childhood.
Step 1
Set clear limits, and follow through with consequences. A strong-willed child needs to know what you expect of her. Set clear rules and limits, and discuss these with your child. But do not create a rule for every behavior. Too many rules and limits will exhaust you as you try to enforce every one and will also frustrate your child, according to the Parents Partner website. When you have discussed the rules with your child, let her know what the consequence will be for not following rules, and consistently follow through with the consequences. If you discipline inconsistently, your child will continue to test the limits.
Step 2
Praise your child. According to the University of Alabama's Parenting Assistance Line, you should focus on positive rather than negative messages. Let your child know that you believe in his ability to make correct decisions, and praise him for doing so.
Step 3
Channel her behaviors. Rather than trying to rid your child of her challenging behaviors, try to channel those behaviors into constructive activities, according to the Parents Partner website. For example, strong-willed children tend to have a lot of energy that can be channeled into hobbies such as sports, art or musical endeavors.
Step 4
Avoid nagging, blaming or shaming. As your child challenges you with misbehavior, excessive energy and resistance, it is easy to fall into a habit of yelling and blaming him. However, this only creates anger and fuels the power struggle between you, according to the Parents Partner website. Similarly, nagging your child creates added frustration for both of you. Instead, parent with love and rely on the clear rules and boundaries you have already set. Rather than nagging or yelling, speak calmly and clearly; make sure to maintain consistency.
Step 5
Accept your child unconditionally. Loving your child unconditionally, no matter how often he misbehaves or frustrates you, is essential for the well-being of all children. According to the University of Minnesota, the behaviors of a strong-willed child often make him "unlikable," but he must know that he will always have your love and support.
Tips and Warnings
- Sometimes behaviors exhibited by strong-willed children directly relate to diagnosable medical or mental health conditions. If you believe your child's behavior is abnormal, seek help from a medical or mental health professional, according to the All About Parenting website.
