There are many ways to tell if someone is lying to you. You may have noticed that their facial expressions don't match their words, or that they tell different stories to different people. They may hesitate before answering a question, as if trying to come up with an answer you'll accept instead of the truth. When you believe someone is deceiving you, it may be helpful to confront them about it.
How to Confront Someone About Deception
Step 1
Trust your instincts. Even if you cannot pinpoint why you believe the other person is deceiving you, that inner warning sign should not be ignored. According to website Healthy Place, people who will deceive you in small ways may move on to larger ones once they realize they can get away with it.
Step 2
Do your research. Talk to people who may know the truth. If their version is radically different than the version of the suspected deceiver, this person may have lied to you or to someone else. For some deceptions, checking an Internet search engine may turn up clues, or it may not. Do not confront a deceiver solely because you didn't find any evidence on the Internet that backs up the deceiver's story.
Step 3
Gather hard evidence of the lie, if possible. When confronted with a lie, some people may attempt to continue lying rather than to come clean. If you suspect the person deceiving you may try this, it helps to have evidence such as a receipt or a text message on hand to demonstrate that the other person's version is false.
Step 4
Confront the person deceiving you. Do not, however, merely state "you're a liar," as this may make the other person defensive and inspire him or her to continue deceiving you in self-defense. Instead, mention that you suspect their particular deception is not true and that you want to know what really happened. When given an opportunity to come clean, many deceivers will take it. Some people are even relieved they no longer have to maintain an untruth.
Step 5
Show the person you suspect the evidence you've found that reveals their lie, if you believe this person is continuing to deceive you after you give them the opportunity to come clean. Many people have difficulty maintaining a falsehood in the face of hard evidence.
Step 6
Use "false fact contribution" as an alternative to hard evidence, if you have none, or as a way to test whether someone is deceiving you. According to 2saveamarriage.com, false fact contribution is when you offer a falsehood to see if the other person agrees with it. If they do, they are probably lying. For example, if your significant other says he or she went to work when you suspect they were really out cheating on you, casually mention hearing on the news that there was a big car wreck on a street near his or her office, and whether that got in your significant other's way. If he or she really went to work, they won't remember any car wreck. If they were nowhere near work, however, they may agree there was a car wreck when in fact there was none.
Step 7
Persist in finding out the truth and confronting the person who may be deceiving you. You may need multiple attempts before the other person will tell the truth. If the other person regularly deceives you and shows no interest in telling the truth, he or she may be a compulsive or pathological liar. In this case, this person may need professional help to overcome the habit of deceiving others.
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