It may seem that kids naturally know how to make friends, but social aptitude is actually a skill that some people have and others are more challenged with. If your child is experiencing difficulty making friends, or you observe that she doesn't seem to play easily with other children, you can help. Teaching your child to make friends is something you can do to help improve your child's social aptitude. You're also setting them up for a critical life skill by teaching your child how to interact appropriately.
Step 1
Set clear and firm rules for social interaction. Make sure your child knows that he must answer questions politely and with eye contact. This way, he can practice the basics of social interaction. The answer doesn't need to be detailed, but it must be polite and include appropriate eye contact.
Step 2
Practice at home together. If your child is having trouble with group play, practice how she might do that at home before heading to the park. Have your child pretend she wants to join the group and give her some suggested means of adding herself into the group by suggesting a game, giving herself a role in the group fantasy play or simply by asking, "Can I play with you?"
Step 3
Host play dates. If your child is very shy, one-on-one playdates in the familiar environment of home can minimize social anxiety. In addition, it allows you to observe your child and help him develop appropriate responses to different situations, such as being empathetic when a friend scrapes his knee.
Step 4
Expose him to a variety of social settings. It can be easy to leave a shy child, or one with difficult social skills, at home. However, exposure to grocery story clerks, adults with whom you're chatting, other kids at the produce market and teens at the coffee shop all add up to improved social aptitude.
Step 5
Listen to your child. Don't think that she's prone to over-dramatizing her lack of friends. It could be a phase, or it could be that she's being bullied on the playground. When she mentions a friend she likes or wants to play with, encourage the friendship with playdates or activities together. Don't buy into the drama, however, as learning how to make friends is sometimes a painful process and it's a critical life lesson for all kids to learn.
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