Self-confidence is your estimation of yourself. It may refer to your belief in your ability to perform a specific task such as hitting a baseball, or it may refer to your estimate of your general competence at performing variety of tasks. In its broadest sense, self-confidence includes self-esteem--your own estimation of your ultimate value as a human being. Psychologists have developed methods for increasing self-confidence, no matter how narrowly or broadly you may define it.
Step 1
Set goals and achieve them. Your goals should be difficult enough to challenge you, but not so difficult that you will fail to meet them. They should also be as specific as possible, so that you will know exactly when you have achieved them. You should also set frequent benchmarks--weekly goals in addition to yearly goals, for example. Frequently achieving goals can increase your self-confidence by providing you with positive feedback about your own abilities, according to the University at Buffalo Counseling Services.
Step 2
Volunteer to help others. Doing good deeds can help you develop the self-esteem aspect of your self-confidence, according to the University of Illinois. Altruistic behavior, if done without the expectation of direct reward, will help you to like yourself more, which can in turn help you to feel that you deserve good things out of life.
Step 3
Keep a journal. Create the story of your life by keeping a journal in which you weave the facts of your life together, put a positive spin on them, and emerge a hero. There is no need for fictionalizing--often, the difference between success and failure is simply a matter of interpretation. In addition, making an effort to see yourself in a positive light can inspire you to live up to your lofty self-image.
Step 4
Brainwash yourself--in a positive sense. The Mayo Clinic describes the techniques of cognitive behavioral therapy to create a positive attitude. In cognitive behavioral therapy you cultivate a constant awareness of your own thoughts, become an expert in negative thinking patterns such as mistaking feelings for facts, create positive, realistic thoughts to replace your negative thoughts, and intervene in your own internal dialogue to eject negative thoughts and inject positive ones.
Step 5
Excavate the source of your negative thoughts. Listen closely to the negative voices in your head before you eject them. They may sound suspiciously like an authority figure or a taunting bully from your past. Once you identify the sources of these thoughts, you may lose respect for them. Becoming aware of the source of your negative programming can help you become a more compassionate defender of yourself, according to psychologist Lisa Firestone.
Tips and Warnings
- To the extent that self-confidence is defined as your estimation of your own value, it can never be too high, as long as it does not lead you to devalue others by comparison.
- Try to be realistic about your ability to perform specific tasks. Overconfidence in your ability to perform a specific task can lead to failure and a sudden loss of self-confidence.
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