Parents are their child’s first teachers. You are responsible for teaching your child how to interact with you, his siblings and others outside the home. When one of your children has difficult behaviors, or when he is diagnosed with a learning disability or psychiatric illness, this changes how you teach him. You need to break his learning down to very basic steps so he can learn to achieve small steps even as he is learning at school or daycare.
Step 1
Set a timer when you want your child to do a chore for you. This strategy works for the child who dawdles every time you want her to do something. If she finishes before the timer goes off, give her a small reward--this can be a small toy or a small amount of money. Before you start using the timer, average out the time it has taken in the past for her to complete the task. Add five minutes to that time and use the result as her target time for completing her chore, suggests the Family Doctor.
Step 2
Help your child get organized to do his homework. Buy folders for his completed homework. Make sure he has a set of text books at home so he can use them to do his work. If your child has ADD or ADHD, he could have a problem with his organization skills, causing him to forget necessary tools he needs to do his homework. Check his backpack and help him organize it. Assist him in organizing his homework folders. Show him how to make up checklists and use them as he does his homework. Show him how to check off each assignment as it is completed, recommends Help Guide.
Step 3
Make up a chart with the good behaviors you want your child to use. Hang or tape this chart to the refrigerator. Every time you see her using this behavior, put a star on the chart for that behavior. After she has earned a certain number of stars, give her a small reward. Every time you see her using a negative behavior--fighting, for instance--make a check mark on the chart. Give her a reward only if there are more good marks than bad marks, recommends the Family Doctor.
Step 4
Assist your child with his homework environment. He needs a space in your home free of distraction, noise and clutter. Make sure the space you select is away from the television. If your child has ADD or ADHD, he could become distracted more easily, making homework an exercise in frustration. Let him take work breaks as often as he needs--every 10 to 20 minutes ca help him reorganize his mind. He needs to understand how much time actually passes as he’s doing his work. Use an analog clock and a timer so he can work more efficiently, suggests Help Guide.
Step 5
Set up and enforce a quiet time at home if you have a child who refuses to give you the time you need to accomplish a task at home. During quiet time, your child must play quietly, allowing you to accomplish your own work. An established quiet time gives you time as your child learns how to rely on her own internal resources. Check on her quietly every two to five minutes. For every interval that she is playing quietly, give her a small reward. Gradually increase the time interval she has to be in quiet time. Move from the two-to-five minute mark up to 30 minutes. For every time interval that she is entertaining herself, give her a small reward, suggests the Family Doctor.
Tips and Warnings
- If your child’s behaviors don’t begin to improve, make an appointment with her pediatrician. As you are working with your child on her behaviors, always remind her that you love her.
Things You'll Need
- Kitchen timer
- Manila folders
- List of desired behaviors
- Package of adhesive stars
- Analog clock
