Conflicts and arguments between family members are an normal an inevitable part of family life, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. It is critical, though, to curb the negative impact that these disputes can have on family relationships and dynamics. The organization notes that families with unhealthy dynamics may have difficulties with anger management or may even avoid communicating altogether. By creating clear guidelines and boundaries for arguments, families can maintain an environment of respect and open communication and work toward productive solutions.
Step 1
Create open dialogue by scheduling family meetings and discussions. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that families consistently communicate about individual and group needs and concerns. By setting a routine for these discussions, families can develop clear communication patterns and guidelines regarding respect. If serious issues occur, the family will have a foundation for discussion and conflict resolution. Families should not wait for conflict to occur. Rather, they should be proactive and practice this communication.
Step 2
Monitor recurring conflicts and record the outcomes. The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that some conflicts may happen more than once, and parents should be diligent about keeping a record of problems and resolutions. If, for example, a family has repeated disagreements about the children's bedtime, the members can discuss fair options and implement a trial period for the agreed upon bedtime. By recording the plan and the outcomes, parents can set fair limits and consequences.
Step 3
Avoid involving a third party in conflict unless it is a qualified professional. When conflicts are serious, and escalate to the point of creating family discord, it may be best to seek counseling from a qualified professional, such as a marriage and family therapist. Trained to work with couples and families, these counselors use mediation techniques to negotiate conflicts and improve communication.
Step 4
Set rules and guidelines about appropriate and respectful communication. Do not discuss disagreements when anger levels are high, or when family members feel particularly reactive. The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that children learn communication skills from parents. Parents can set the tone for family communication by exhibiting healthy communication skills, such as active listening and direct, assertive expression, without yelling.
