A personality disorder is a consistent pattern of beliefs, thoughts and behaviors that cause one to frequently approach others in a distressing manner, inappropriate to the context and culture. People behave in a manner consistent with the roles they determine themselves and others to hold within society, along with the way they believe the world to function. A person with a disordered personality is attached to a position that is dysfunctional to healthy interaction.
Narcissism
Narcissism refers to such a condition, characterized by both an inflated sense of self-importance and a complete lack of empathy for others. Narcissistic people tend to be entirely self-serving, unaware of anything existing beyond their own needs and perspective. They require constant signs of approval from others and are terrified at the thought of rejection. Though appearing strong and firm, narcissists operate from a paradigm rooted in fear and a sense of fragility that prevents honest interaction.
Relationships
Narcissists minimize others. They antagonize and belittle those they deem to be inferior. A narcissist doesn't conceptualize people besides himself as individuals with their own purpose, thoughts, or choices. Unable to see beyond his own needs, he is quick to take advantage of those in his presence who are vulnerable. A narcissist will thoroughly disregard the feelings and desires of intimate partners, and expect companions to simply go along with whatever he plans. A narcissist is incapable of true intimacy and finds difficulty maintaining relationships.
At Work
Narcissists easily become jealous of others' accomplishments and paranoid of their intentions. The possibility of pursuing a win/win scenario between colleagues doesn't exist within the mental framework of such a self-serving person. Narcissists see life as a game where only one person can win and the other must lose. Furthermore, they think that others operate by the same ideal. Fearing the shame they associate with disappointment, narcissists are determined to "get others first" and have no problem violating moral entitlements in order to stay ahead.
Underlying Issues
Narcissism actually stems from a deep-seated sense of low self-esteem. All the grandiose behavior is merely designed to counteract feelings of inferiority lying underneath. Determining himself ill-equipped to meet others sufficiently at an equal exchange, a narcissist belittles people in a desperate attempt to level the playing field. Taking someone else down a notch allows a narcissistic personality to temporarily feel better about himself, but simultaneously moves him away from the genuine sense of worth and connection he desires.
Implications
An individual with a personality disorder has adopted an inflexible way of thinking and behaving that will come forth in all his endeavors. Narcissists become stuck to strategies that are harmful to themselves and others and find difficulty adjusting their approach. They will not put aside the tactics they use, even when the damage being caused is apparent. People with narcissistic personalities do not readily recognize their view as distorted. For this reason, treating the condition is often arduous. With determination, counseling and patience, however, the person may eventually find balance and a place within the group.
