Many people are blindsided when they find out their partners are cheating. They think the relationship is fine until they are confronted with undeniable evidence or a confession. What they may not realize is that there are often telltale signs of cheating. Many people overlook them because it's painful to acknowledge the possibility, but awareness is better than a hurtful surprise.
Step 1
Note whether your partner wants sex with the same frequency or whether your sex life has suddenly dropped off. M. Gary Neuman, a marriage counselor and author of the book "The Truth About Cheating", explains that an unexplained drop in intimacy means the other person might be having sex with someone else.
Step 2
Call your partner's cell phone at various times and note whether the phone is answered. Neuman warns that suddenly letting your calls go unanswered may be a sign of cheating. The other person might not want a new love interest to overhear a conversation with you.
Step 3
Watch for a drop in contact between you and your partner. The other person might suddenly start spending more time away from you, Neuman warns, and may seem distracted or disinterested when you are together. This could mean a shifting focus onto a new partner.
Step 4
Note whether your partner starts to criticize you more, Neuman advises. A person who is cheating on a partner often starts to be overly critical and may even pick fights. This allows the unfaithful partner to mentally shift the blame and justify the cheating.
Step 5
Watch for an increase in secretive actions. A person who is cheating often speaks softly on phone calls and hangs up after a very brief conversation, as well as frequently deleting call and text records. The cheater may quickly shift to a different computer screen if you walk into the room.
Step 6
Watch for a sudden increase in activities that improve your partner's physical appearance. For example, Dr. Robert Huizenga, an infidelity coach, explains that suddenly joining a health club and working out to lose weight can be a red flag. This is especially true if it happens in the same time frame as other signs.
Tips and Warnings
- Huizenga warns that a cheating partner may suddenly accuse you of being unfaithful without an solid reasons. These accusations are usually spurred by guilt from that person's own actions. They may also be a way to keep you off guard and distract you from what is really happening.
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