Everyone gets angry from time to time. Anger is a natural reaction to an event that seems unfair, unreasonable or aggressive. While becoming angry is natural, the actions people sometimes take when they're mad are often inappropriate and can be harmful. Children experience anger as often as adults, and it is important for them to learn techniques for managing anger while young.
Cool Down Technique
Children can practice a simple technique to control their actions when they become angry. Teach them to close their eyes and recite a short song such as "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" in their heads to distract themselves and allow time for the anger to diffuse. Subduing inappropriate actions that perhaps include aggression is important to maintaining a calm attitude. Practice this with your children by singing with them for one or two minutes when you observe them becoming angry. Do this even with little events in order to give children opportunities to practice self control.
Write It Out
Teach children to channel angry reactions into words on paper. When a child is raging, take him out of the situation when possible and give him a notebook to write in. If he is too young to write, have him draw what happened or just scribble. Let him pace while he writes if he wants to. If he is capable, have him record his feelings, the situation, what is causing him to react angrily and what he feels like doing about it. When he has calmed some, have him re-read his statements. Then have him write a description of an appropriate way of handling the situation. Reflecting on what he felt like doing at the time but only accomplished on paper allows him to access whether his actions would have been beneficial or made the situation worse.
Distance
Help your child learn the technique for distancing herself from the person or event that is causing her anger. Initially, you most likely have to remove her yourself but in time she will learn to do this on her own. Explain that there will be times when she will be physically unable to leave the environment but should instead opt for mentally "moving" herself to a calmer environment. This may take the form of simply turning around or looking down for a few moments till the urge to react inappropriately passes.
Physical Distraction
Show your child how to distract himself from aggressive reactions to anger with physical activity. Encourage your child to jog, jump rope or dance until the desire to "explode" has passed. Anger is usually accompanied by the "fight or flight" body reaction that produces adrenalin so have them "fly." Suggest that he participate in a solo activity whether than in a physical game or sport with others while he is angry as he may be tempted to react aggressively with others at the time.
Communicate
Educate your child in conflict resolution through communication. If the child is angry with another child, have the children sit down together to discuss the situation. You will probably need to have the parties engage in a "cool down" time apart before bringing them together. Have a trusted adult mediate if possible, but allow the children to talk out the event themselves. Encourage them to take turns speaking and avoid "talking over" each other. If the child is reacting to a situation involving multiple children or an adult, have the child communicate with you directly. Together, you and your child can determine the best course of action to deal with the situation.
