In his book, "A Parent's Guide to Getting Kids Out of the Family Bed, child psychologist Lawrence E. Shapiro says sleep is not an area for compromise--as a parent you must lay down the law for the health and well-being of your child. Chronic lack of sleep can cause serotonin levels to drop, which can lead to serious anxiety in children. For parents of a spirited, or high energy child, bedtime can mean tears, tantrums and late nights. There could be a nightly battle of the wills no one seems to win. Don't worry though--with a clear plan and a little patience, you can teach even the strongest-willed child to sleep in her own bed.
How to Get a Spirited Kid to Sleep in Her Own Bed
Step 1
Adopt a regular bedtime routine, says Supernanny.com. Make the routine pleasurable for your child. Begin your routine at the same time each night, and include a story or two and ample cuddle time.
Step 2
Reserve a full hour each evening to help your child unwind. Do this before starting the bedtime ritual. Spirited children may require more sleep than other children, but they also have a more difficult time settling down for sleep.
Step 3
State your new expectations for bedtime. Sit your child down and clearly explain the bedtime ritual. Make sure you present these changes in a positive light. Remind your child that only big boys and girls get to sleep alone.
Step 4
Stick to the rules, says pediatrician Dr. Alan Greene. If you give in, even once, your child will know you don't mean business.
Step 5
Create a pleasant sleeping area for your child. Make your child's bed comfortable and inviting, but not overly stimulating. Nice pillows, a soft blanket and a few well-chosen stuffed animal friends should do the trick.
Step 6
Turn the lights off. Child psychologist Lawrence E. Shapiro says that having the lights on can interfere with the brain's melatonin production, making it harder for children to go to sleep. Spirited children tend to remain active and restless during sleep, and so reducing outside stimuli--including music and electronics--may help your child settle down at bedtime.
Step 7
Sit on a chair or on the floor next to your child's bed. You can stay in the room for the first few nights, but do not climb into bed with your child. Avoid cuddling or touching your child after the lights go out.
Step 8
Carry your child back to bed if she climbs out. Do this over and over until she stays in bed. If your child is highly spirited, she may scream, yell or throw a fit. Be firm--your child's health is at stake.
Step 9
Praise your child when she sleeps in her own bed. Use hugs, stickers, charts, or treats--whatever it takes to let your child know that you are proud of her.
Tips and Warnings
- Teach your child some self-soothing techniques. Deep breathing, muscle relaxation, or guided imagery techniques may help your child to relax at bedtime.
- Resist the urge to let your child return to your bed after mastering the new routine. You may miss the bedtime snuggling, but it is important to reinforce your child's new skill.
References
- "A Parent's Guide to Getting Kids Out of the Family Bed; Lawrence E. Shapiro Ph,D; 2008
- The Fussy Baby Site: The Spirited Child
- Supernanny: Get Your Child to Sleep Alone
- Dr. Greene: Tips for Helping Children Sleep in their Own Beds
- University of Michigan Health System: Your Child Development and Behavior Resources: Sleep Problems
