You may have developed a feeling in the pit of your stomach lately that something is just not right about your relationship. You have a suspicion that your partner is cheating, but you cannot prove it. Perhaps those feelings are stemming from insecurity, especially if a partner cheated on you in a previous relationship, or maybe your gut feelings are right on the mark.
Step 1
Examine your relationship. Think about whether your spouse is really the kind of person who would have an affair, or whether she simply has a flirtatious nature. According to psychologist Judy Kuriansky, in her book, "The Complete Idiot's Guide to a Healthy Relationship," many perceived betrayals occur due to harmless flirting. If you suspect that it's just flirting that's driving you insane, confront your spouse. You have a right to ask for a stop to this behavior if it makes you feel uncomfortable. If she reacts poorly to your request, you may have cause for concern.
Step 2
Think back over the past month, and ask yourself if the amount of time you spent with your spouse changed. Maybe you spend less time with each other than you used to. Perhaps your mate is working extra hours, or comes home late from work without a valid excuse. Maybe he has frequent dinner obligations for work, or has to suddenly travel out of town for a meeting, when he's never had to travel for work before.
Step 3
Notice whether your spouse has made a change to her physical appearance. Maybe she's going to the gym more frequently, or wearing a new perfume. Perhaps she recently changed her hairstyle, even though she's had the same one for years. While it's not foolproof, these signs may indicate infidelity, according to Danine Manette, author of "Ultimate Betrayal: Recognizing, Uncovering and Dealing with Infidelity."
Step 4
Observe your spouse's use of the computer and cell phone. He may be spending more time at home on the computer, or using his cell phone in private. He may read his emails or text messages on his phone. According to Kuriansky, he may be cheating if he has his phone locked, or switches browser windows on the computer as soon as you walk into the room.
References
- "The Complete Idiot's Guide to a Healthy Relationship"; Judy Kuriansky, Ph. D.; 2001
- "Ultimate Betrayal: Recognizing, Uncovering and Dealing with Infidelity"; Danine Manette; 2005
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