Your relationship with the professional you hire to represent your interests in a divorce can be like a mini-marriage in itself. Your future happiness depends on her, and you're going to share some charged and emotional moments before it's through. Therefore, it's important to take the time to find a lawyer who's right for you.
Step 1
Ask for referrals. An obvious source is family members or friends who were pleased with their lawyer's representation, but don't overlook people who were on the losing end of a divorce and were grudgingly impressed with their spouse's lawyer. You should also ask other attorneys. They'll have the inside scoop on a practitioner's reputation, strengths and weaknesses.
Step 2
Build a preliminary list of names and consult with each of them. Ask the questions that matter to you most. For instance, if you're divorcing on a shoestring, ask about his fees and how he bills. If you think you're going to need a lot of hand-holding, find out if he will be returning your phone calls himself or if you can expect his paralegal to do it. No attorney is perfect for every client. All are stronger in one area than in others. Figure out who most closely meets your individual needs.
Step 3
Pay attention to how an attorney describes herself during the initial consultation. Belinda Etezad Rachman, a lawyer and divorce mediator in California, points out that "aggressive" is not necessarily a good thing. By the time an aggressive attorney has gotten you divorced, there may be little left in the way of assets for you to share because the bulk of them have gone to pay her fees through a long litigation made even longer because she wouldn't talk settlement.
Step 4
Heed your instincts. Are you comfortable with this person or intimidated by him? Did you feel more emotional when you left his office than you did when you arrived, or has he calmed you down and put things into perspective? Divorce is such a highly emotional process that if your attorney brings out negative feelings in you, it's going to make a bad experience worse.
Step 5
Match your priorities to her experience. If there is a great deal of marital property, you might want to lean toward the attorney who has more experience with the financial aspects of divorce. If your children are of utmost importance, someone with a great deal of custody experience might be more suited to your case.
Step 6
Eliminate the possibility that you're going to be in debt to your divorce lawyer for the rest of your life. According to Rachman, they are permitted in many states to secure their fees with a lien against your home. Once you've decided on an attorney who seems right for you, make sure you know how you're going to pay her. Have a plan for what you're going to do if complications arise and her fees skyrocket. Ask what her usual practice is when this happens. If you can live with her answer, go ahead and put your life in her hands.
