When a child is diagnosed with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, parents often think about the effects it will have on his grades, his education, his social activity, and how to best treat the disorder. What is often not considered, however, is the effect a child's ADHD has on his relationship with a sibling.
Disruption
According to Help for ADD, the disruption caused by ADHD is the biggest problem in the relationship between two siblings. When living with an ADHD child, family life is exhausting and chaotic. Siblings never know what to expect, and their daily routine is often interrupted by this lifestyle.
A study done in 1997 by Dr. David Rabiner of Duke University showed that there are seven types of disruptive behaviors on the part of the ADHD child that exist in this relationship between siblings: emotional and social immaturity, aggression, hyperactivity, underachievement, poor relationships with peers, conflicts with family and relationship problems with members of the extended family.
Victimization
Through interviews conducted with siblings of children with ADHD, according to Help for ADD, it was reported that many siblings felt victimized by their sibling's aggression, both verbal and physical, due to the disorder. According to HealthyPlace.com, they believed that they were easy targets for their sibling because their parents were too fatigued and busy to intervene between the two when aggressive behaviors occurred. The siblings also felt that they were not protected from their ADHD sibling by their parents and became resentful toward parents and other authority, according to the Rabiner study.
Emotional Distress
Because of the chaotic family lifestyle, siblings become emotionally distressed, according to Help for ADD. They continue to strive for a normal lifestyle, though they never seem to get it. They also desire peace and quiet, but cannot seem to get that, either. Lastly, the siblings begin to worry about their ADHD sibling, because of the possibility of him getting hurt or getting into serious trouble due to his disorder. This brings up feelings of resentment and worry between the two siblings that can cause stress for both of them.
Caretaking
Because of a mixture of a busy life and fatigue, parents often leave the sibling in charge of "watching over" the ADHD child and acting as a caretaker, according to Help for ADD. Though the parents see this as something normal and responsible that siblings always do for each other, the sibling in charge sees the task as a difficult assignment, according to Help for ADD. This results in feelings of resentment and anger arising in the caretaking sibling toward the ADHD child. It also can lead to a strained relationship between the two siblings, because the ADHD child sees the other as an authority figure, as opposed to a sibling and a friend.
