How to Cope With Grieving

Overview

Grieving is not a linear process. It comes in waves and can often crop up unexpectedly. Coping with grieving is an important process that can come up due to the loss of a pet, friend, family member or major life change, such as job loss or divorce. While the source of the grief may differ, the process of coping includes being aware of its stages and giving yourself room to grieve.

Step 1

Understand that grieving is a unique event for each person. Don't anticipate how you'll respond or chart any specific time line for recovery. Avoid being impatient with yourself if you find that you're still deeply grieving long after the initial cause occurred.

Step 2

Don't ignore your grief. While some cultures believe that simply marching on is best, real healing occurs when the sadness, anger and other jumble of emotions that accompany loss surface and are dealt with.

Step 3

Don't expect to cry. While many people express grief with tears, some don't. Again, there's no set pattern to how you should grieve, so give yourself room to cope with your grief in a way that seems right and natural to you.

Step 4

Know the five stages, as identified by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in 1969 (see Resources). They are not abrupt, and may flow over into one another, but it can be helpful to cope with grief if you know that the general stages encompass: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Step 5

Grieve in your own way. While the five stages might be useful from an abstract perspective, they aren't required. If you never get angry, that doesn't mean you aren't coping. Similarly, if you move directly to acceptance, you won't have failed the grieving process, you may simply be coping very well with your loss.