Intimate relationships should be filled with love, respect and understanding. They are intense affairs which can bring tremendous joy. Unfortunately, the very intimacy of these unions can lead to conflict. It is natural to disagree with others due to different beliefs and personal attributes. This is intensified when you argue with someone with whom you are extremely close. These disagreements, however, can actually be healthy and good for the relationship. The resolution of arguments draws you closer and allows your friendship to grow.
Step 1
Identify exactly why you are arguing. Sometimes couples who disagree over a very minor issue are really upset with each other over a bigger problem. For instance, you may argue about where to eat dinner but the root issue has to do with how you handle your finances as a couple.
Step 2
Deal with one issue at a time. If your try to address a multitude of concerns at one time, nothing will be accomplished, according to the Help Guide website. Focus on resolving each problem before moving on to the next one.
Step 3
Take turns speaking. This should be a chief guideline when you are discussing matters. It is often hard to listen to the other person when you are in a heated debate, but it is essential you do so. Don't think of what you are going to say next while your partner is talking. Take a moment to consider his words before responding.
Step 4
Use positive language as much as possible when in conflict. Instead of saying, for example, "You don't help me around the house enough," change it to "It really helps me when you pitch in with chores, so I hope you will do it more in the future." Think before you speak so you remain respectful and hopeful in your attitude.
Step 5
Consider multiple solutions to a problem and then decide on the best one. Brainstorming possible resolutions together will require you to come together as a team. Write down the pros and cons of each option before deciding on a particular one.
Step 6
Compromise whenever possible so each of you "wins" something. For example, if your mate wants to remodel the kitchen but you do not think it is economically feasible, you can compromise by refinishing the cabinets. This way the amount you spend is minimal and your spouse gets a new look for the room.
Step 7
Consult a professional when serious issues arise. Some conflicts cannot be resolved without professional counseling. Make an appointment with a relationship therapist to work on these concerns.
Member Comments