Self-confidence is the ability to see yourself and your skills realistically and positively. It helps create a child with a healthy self-image and a clear, yet upbeat sense of what he can and cannot do. A child with healthy self confidence, notes Dr. Sears, a well known child development expert, is a child who will have strong mental health throughout life. You can help your child develop healthy self-confidence by specifically and purposefully parenting to build, rather than diminish, your child's sense of self.
Step 1
Play with your child. By taking the time to have fun, you're letting your child know that she is important to you and worthy of your time. Let your child choose the game. This further boosts your child's self-confidence as she learns that she is valuable and her opinion has worth.
Step 2
Stay focused. In this age of email, texting and Facebook, it's easy to be distracted. However, children sense when you're not fully present. When talking with your child, eating a meal together or playing, stay present and in the moment. This helps a child learn to expect this from other people in his life.
Step 3
Value your child's abilities. It's tempting to compare your kids to others but each child matures differently and has her own skills. Don't focus on what other kids are achieving as this can make your child see her achievements as lacking. Appreciate and praise your child's hard work. To develop confidence, kids need to be realistic about what their abilities and praised for their best effort.
Step 4
Don't overpraise with meaningless phrases. Use clear and specific phrasing, such as "I like how hard you worked on that science project." This shows you are proud and paying attention.
Step 5
Set expectations and assign chores. Children learn responsibility from taking part in the running of the house. Chores also help channel kids' energy into productive activity. When your child makes a mistake, take the opportunity to teaching him how not to repeat it. Self-confident children learn from experience and don't dwell in the negative, a critical skill for problem-solving and managing crises as adults.
Step 6
Talk about feelings. Children may not have the vocabulary to clearly express themselves and may need your help. Ask whether they are angry, happy, frustrated, sad, uncertain, scared, etc. This provides critical tools for a children to express themselves.
Step 7
Watch your tone. If you are feeling tired or frustrated, don't belittle your kids with your words or tone. While it's fine for kids to know that you've had a bad day, don't lose control of your emotions and take out your frustrations on your kids. A belittling comment, sarcasm or anger has significant negative impact on a child's self-confidence.
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