Divorce is a stressful event that can trigger the grieving process. Partners who are going through a divorce must come to terms with the loss of shared goals, a family home and an identity as a couple. Guilt is a normal part of the grieving process; in fact, the grieving process is often marked by a phase in which an individual must cope with guilt about his or her role in the loss. By learning more about the emotional process and various coping mechanisms, people can take healthy steps to move past the loss.
Moving Beyond the Guilt of Divorce
Step 1
Create a support network of trusted friends, family members, peer support groups and possibly a professional counselor. Professionals at Iowa State Extension note that people going through a significant loss such as divorce may experience strong, often conflicting emotions. By creating a network of people to talk to and turn to for help with daily responsibilities, individuals have access to consistent emotional support and feedback. That can offer some needed perspective on distorted feelings such as guilt.
Step 2
Get involved in new activities. As individuals pursue new hobbies, they often begin to develop new interests and social connections outside their old circles. Professionals at Mental Health America note that this provides a sense of growth along with change, and that may add a different perspective to the divorce process. As new experiences begin to occur, the sense of loss and guilt is gradually replaced by a new identity.
Step 3
Seek closure, if possible, with your former partner. The divorce process varies highly, depending on the nature of the relationship. In general, experts at Mental Health America say that acceptance of a divorce can foster a sense of closure and allow new beginnings. Some couples may elect to see a professional counselor for divorce counseling, a process that may allow couples to part more amicably and find closure with the support of the therapist. If feelings of guilt are very strong, a partner can make efforts to resolve those feelings with the support of a third party.
Step 4
Make efforts to maintain a healthy diet and sleep schedule. Divorce is obviously stressful, and sadness and guilt are normal feelings during this process. The emotional stress can take a physical toll on the body, causing changes in appetite and sleep patterns, which can exacerbate emotional difficulties. By maintaining a healthy diet and sleeping well, individuals can reduce the physical impact that stress has on their bodies and minds.
