How To Recognize Signs Of A Cheating Mate

It's not always easy to spot the signs of a cheating mate. Infidelity is a violation of the boundaries of your relationship, regardless of whether it involves cybercheating or an illicit sexual affair. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, many marriages and intimate relationships can survive infidelity and become stronger when couples participate in couples therapy. If you are concerned that your mate is cheating, you may want to consult a professional counselor or therapist for guidance. You can ask your physician or a local mental health clinic for a referral to a qualified therapist in your area.

Step 1

Notice any secretive or deceptive behavior. Perhaps he is hiding his cell phone, or deleting the history on his computer, more frequently. Maybe he is receiving mysterious text messages from strange phone numbers and shrugging them off as no big deal. According to the Mayo Clinic, resorting to lies and deception to keep the relationship a secret is a key sign that a person is having an affair.

Step 2

Observe a change in work schedules. If she's recently increased the amount of time she spends at work, or suddenly has to travel for work, when she's never had to before, you probably have cause for suspicion, according to psychologist Judy Kuriansky in her book "The Complete Idiot's Guide to a Healthy Relationship."

Step 3

Observe the answers he provides to your questions. You fee like whenever you ask a direct question, he stutters or gives vague answers that don't satisfy you. According to author Kuriansky, evasive or unclear explanations may indicate that your mate is cheating.

Step 4

Consider whether your mate follows through on her actions and promises. Notice whether she consistently forgets appointments or doesn't remember to do the things she said he would do.

Step 5

Monitor your finances. According to marital counselor and private investigator Gigi Moers, in her book, "How and Why Lovers Cheat: And What You Can Do About It," all affairs cost money and most likely, the money will come out of the family budget. If you have a shared bank account, notice any unusual expenditures or unexplained payments.

Step 6

Listen to your gut feelings. You may simply have a feeling that something isn't quite right. Perhaps you aren't sleeping well or you have a persistently upset stomach when you think about your relationship.