Children aren't born knowing how to behave, or even that they should behave--they have to be taught. Every parent and teacher faces behavior problems from children, and it is important to understand how to intervene in a child's behavior in order to modify it in the most effective and least stressful manner. Many of the same principles of behavior modification apply regardless of whether the child is "normal" or developmentally disabled in some way.
Behavior Emphasis
Every behavior is accompanied by an attitude, feeling, belief or interpretation. It is important to focus solely on the offending behavior, advises the BBB Autism Online Support Network. This is because it is easier for a child to modify his behavior than change his mental state. Keep your focus on specific acts that can be seen and heard. A child can more easily refrain from throwing tantrums, for example, than refrain from getting angry.
Positive Focus
Positive communication is a behavior modification technique that can improve your child's behavior without damaging her self-esteem. Face your child and maintain eye contact when speaking to her. When correcting her, focus on her behavior--avoid personal labels such as "bad girl," or assumptions about her character such as, "You don't care about anybody but yourself." To the extent possible, listen to what she has to say and avoid interrupting her. When responding to her behavior with a disciplinary measure, introduce the measure with a statement designed to provide emotional support, such as, "You are a smart girl."
Positive Reinforcement
Jane Bluestein, author and CEO of Instructional Support Services, Inc., supports the judicious use of rewards to elicit desirable behavior in order to head off after-the-fact disciplinary measures. You may promise to take your child to the movies if he cleans his room by noon, for example. Your demand should be specific, and should include a time deadline. It is critical that you always follow through with your promise. Never use affection or approval as a reward, however--make the reward something concrete that is unrelated to your affections.
DIscipline
If positive measures fail to produce the desired behavioral change, discipline may be unavoidable. In such cases, your first resort should be to withhold privileges or rewards rather than to use physical punishment, advises Bluestein. Discipline is most effective when you clearly spell out the forbidden behavior and its consequences before the behavior occurs, and refuse to make exceptions to these consequences. It is also helpful to build in a "parole" system for good behavior, whereby the consequences can be reversed if your child modifies her behavior in response to your discipline.
Dealing with Skill Deficits
In some cases of misbehavior, your child may simply lack the skills to comply with your wishes. He may lack certain social skills, for example. When you run into such a situation, you should avoid scolding or reprimanding your child and simply teach the skill, advises Judith Osgood Smith, professor emerita of education at Purdue University Calumet. Be sure to give your child enough time to learn the skill before you start demanding compliance.
References
- Instructional Support Services, Inc.: Behavior Management: Intervention Strategies
- BBB Autism: Behavior Management Strategies To Use Every Day
- Psychology Today: Time-Out: Time and Child Behavior Management
- LD Online: Behavior Management: Getting to the Bottom of Social Skills Deficits
- Family Education: Using Positive Reinforcement
