Making friends---especially if you're no longer in high school or college---can be challenging. Meeting people with whom you want to share your time and ideas, however, requires getting out into the world and exploring your interests. Join a club or sports team, enroll in a class or go out to see live music. Once you've found people of like minds, be kind, compassionate, understanding and supportive, and your circle of close friends will more than likely increase exponentially.
Step 1
Exude confidence. Shy people often have difficulty making friends because they're afraid to approach others or have a hard time opening up. Start by making casual conversation with people at the grocery store, bank or gym. You can even just say, "hello," and give them a short but sweet compliment such as, "I really like your blouse," or "You've got a great smile."
Step 2
Express a positive outlook. "For most people, the greatest good they could do for themselves is to change their energy. Your emotions give off energy that can be positive or negative," says mind-body authority Deepak Chopra. People are often drawn to upbeat, happy individuals. If you often frown, scowl or make negative comments, you might push others away.
Step 3
Explore your passions and develop your mind. Interesting, creative people tend to attract other interesting, creative people. Find things you're good at and enjoy---such as playing guitar, writing, mountain biking or volunteering---and give them your all. Choose activities that help make you the best person you can be---both physically and mentally.
Step 4
Show a genuine interest in other people. Whether you're meeting someone for the first time or are just getting to know an individual, express your curiosity. Ask them questions throughout your conversation and focus on them rather than keeping the spotlight on yourself.
Step 5
Remember people's names and say them often when speaking with them. When you do this, "...you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage," writes Dale Carnegie in the bestselling book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People."
Step 6
Maintain your integrity. Don't gossip or criticize others. People who speak with you might get a momentary thrill from hearing the latest dirt, but they probably won't want to be your close friend. After all, you might make less than favorable remarks about them as well.
Step 7
Offer your help. Ask others whether they need assistance moving, walking their dogs, babysitting or anything else that requires your time or patience. "If we want to make friends," advises Carnegie, "let's put ourselves out to do things for other people--things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness."
References
- Oprah: How to Change Your Energy
- "How to Win Friends and Influence People"; Dale Carnegie; 1936.
Member Comments