No matter how much of a parenting pro you might be, it's always a good idea to step back and inventory your parenting skills from time to time. Assessing your parenting skills can help you formulate a more effective future plan, whether you're a new parent or a veteran, reports the website Babyzone. Keep in mind that there is no such thing as a "perfect" parent, and everyone makes some mistakes in this difficult and complicated job.
Step 1
Consider your reactions. Think about how often you are frustrated and yell at your kids when they're not complying with you. This behavior models a lack of control and poor problem-solving skills for your kids, says educational psychologist Don Gordon on the BBC website. Instead, speak in a calm, clear way that lets your kids know you mean business.
Step 2
Think about structure and consistency, Babyzone suggests. Ask yourself whether your children go to bed at roughly the same time each night, whether they have daily household chores, and whether you have consistent family rules your kids know well. This kind of structure and stability helps a child to feel safe and fosters a sense of autonomy and confidence.
Step 3
Assess your compliment/criticism ratio. Babyzone recommends evaluating whether you compliment your child as often as you criticize him. Consider whether your child is greeted in the morning and tucked into bed with loving, supportive words. This type of nurturing is fundamental to developing healthy self-esteem, Babyzone reports.
Step 4
Evaluate your listening skills. Particularly if your child has an issue with you or his other parent, it's important to practice active listening and let your child know his feelings are respected and understood, says psychologist Don Gordon. Dismissing a child's feelings and concerns will make him feel marginalized and unimportant.
Step 5
Consider how often you cave in to manipulation, whining or tantrums, suggests Babyzone. On some days, it might simply be easier to capitulate to a whiny kid's demands, but if you do so too often, your child will learn that bad behavior will be rewarded. This will make parenting more difficult for you in the short term, and will likely confuse and hurt your child in the long term.
Tips and Warnings
- Read parenting books and/or take classes, Babyzone recommends. The art of parenting is always a work in progress, and everyone could stand a little improvement.
