Even if your partner has never been emotionally violent, you may be the victim of emotional abuse. Signs of emotional abuse may include name-calling, put-downs, threats, frightening acts of anger, accusations and jealous behavior, says the Mayo Clinic staff in the article "Domestic Violence Against Women: Recognize Patterns, Seek Help." If your partner accuses you of being unfaithful but has no reason to be suspicious, blames you for his anger or tries to keep you from seeing your friends and family, your partner may be emotionally abusive. After breaking away from your abusive partner, take your life back.
Step 1
Stay at a safe house where your partner will be unable to contact you, recommends Melinda Smith, M.A.; and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. in the article "Help for Abused and Battered Women" in the online magazine HelpGuide.org. Although you may feel tempted to stay with a friend or family member, that would make it more likely that your partner will know where to find you.
Step 2
Change your cell phone number, email passwords and bank codes, and use corded phones when possible, recommends the Mayo Clinic staff. This way, you can feel safe and secure that your partner has not tapped your phone.
Step 3
Talk with others who have suffered from emotional abuse to gain perspective on your situation and talk about your fears. Consult local support groups, trusted friends and family members or a psychologist, suggests the Mayo Clinic staff.
Step 4
Get a restraining order if your partner still attempts to contact you. Getting a restraining order may make you feel safer and help you recover more quickly. Contact the police to file a restraining order against your partner. Do not let your partner persuade you to meet and discuss the problem once you have decided to leave. Agreeing to see your partner may continue the abuse and delay your recovery.
Step 5
Allow yourself to grieve about your relationship as part of the healing process, say Ellen Bass and Laura Davis, authors of "The Courage to Heal." Although your partner may have been emotionally abusive, you may still have feelings of love for her. Take the time to grieve before starting a new relationship.
Step 6
Make new friends and get new hobbies to establish a new life without your abuser, says Andrea Lisette in her book, "Free Yourself from an Abusive Relationship." When you feel ready, venture out to book clubs or recreational sports teams to make friends with similar interests. By establishing new, healthy relationships in your life, you will continue the healing process.
Tips and Warnings
- Avoid locations that your partner would expect you to go to, such as shops and restaurants that you used to frequent.
- A restraining order may not protect you from abuse, say Smith and Segal in the HelpGuide.org article. Emotional abuse may become worse if the abused partner attempts to leave or file a restraining order.
Things You'll Need
- Corded phone
- Restraining order
References
- Help Guide: Help for Abused and Battered Women
- Mayo Clinic: Domestic Violence Against Women: Recognize Patterns, Seek Help
- Stanford University: Controlling and Abusive Relationships
- Mayo Clinic: Domestic Violence Against Women: Recognize Patterns, Seek Help - Part 2
- "The Courage to Heal"; Ellen Bass and Laura Davis; 1994
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