Over 1.3 million women are victims of abuse each year, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Spousal abuse occurs when one spouse tries to dominate and control the other, explains the Help Guide website. Spousal abuse includes verbal and emotional abuse. If this crosses the line into physical abuse or assault, it is considered domestic violence. If you are a victim of spousal abuse, you need to understand you are not alone. There are several resources available to you.
Step 1
Identify the signs of spousal abuse. Some women may be unaware of the signs of an abusive husband. Spousal abuse isn't always physical. It can also be in the form of a controlling husband who tells you where to go, how much money you can have and belittles you as a person. He may humiliate, dominate, intimidate, blame, isolate and threaten violence, explains the Abuse Facts website.
Step 2
Avoid direct confrontation with your spouse. If your spouse is displaying signs of abuse or threatening behavior, avoid fighting and try not to upset her further. If she is breaking items, displaying signs of hypersensitivity or unrealistic expectations, the next step could result in physical assault, says the Georgia College and State University website. Agree with your spouse or step away from the situation to gain perspective and avoid adding fuel to the fire.
Step 3
Locate a safe haven. This is important in case the argument turns physically violent. A safe haven should be established if you have any question that the relationship could turn unsafe. It could be the home of a friend or family member who is willing to let you stay with them. Because many abusive spouses will prevent you from access to money or credit cards, prepare yourself for emergencies by setting aside money to gas up your vehicle, call a taxi or rent a hotel room if necessary.
Step 4
Protect yourself legally. If you are a victim of spousal abuse or domestic violence, you will need to hire legal counsel to protect yourself, your children and your marital assets. You will need someone to represent you in court so you can establish custody if applicable, spousal support and file for a protection order so you can remain safe while separated from your spouse.
Step 5
Seek support. Being in an abusive marriage can be traumatic. It can leave with you unanswered questions and low self-esteem. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence suggests seeking crisis intervention with the help of a social worker or law enforcement, emotional support through a domestic violence support group and finding emergency housing along with access to child care and community assistance services.
Tips and Warnings
- Be sure to let others who are close to you know you are in an abusive relationship.
- If you feel your life or your child is in danger, call 911 immediately. Never allow your child or someone else's child to be caught in the middle of or witness a violent situation between you and your spouse. This is considered child endangerment and you can be punished by a court of law or lose custody of your child.
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