Divorce proceedings can be stressful and difficult on a number of levels. The stress and emotional toll of divorce can be difficult, and a financial stress will also be placed on you during divorce proceedings. A bitter ex can make a divorce all the more difficult to deal with, hard feelings and built-up resentment can lead to nasty fights that do nothing but drag out the difficulty of a divorce for both of you. If you wish to be productive during your divorce, do not retaliate and you must take control of your communication with a bitter ex.
Step 1
Keep your focus on the end goal of what you want in divorce. It is common for a couple to bring up old issues and argue when communicating during divorce proceedings. This can lead to long conversations gaining nothing and both of you becoming more upset. If your ex brings up topics and issues that are off path, calmly remind the spouse of what you are looking to achieve for both of you. Be patient and if it helps write down two or three main topics you wish to discuss and refer back to the list throughout communication. Plan the topics you would like to discuss with your ex in advance, and consult a divorce lawyer for advice.
Step 2
Address all financial issues clearly and immediately when you enter divorce proceedings. If you have a joint bank account you should discuss with your ex how you plan to split the account and close the account quickly. A bitter ex has the ability to withdraw money from the account leaving you with none, or to make large purchases on credit or debit cards. If possible, communicating financial matters with your ex by email and in person will allow you to keep written records of correspondence for future reference.
Step 3
Do not react to threats from your bitter ex. In divorce proceedings it is common for emotions to run high and nasty words to be thrown back and forth. Money, children and even mental or physical abuse can be used as a threat during communication. Always share threats with a divorce lawyer and gain legal advice, preferably before responding to any communication. Bear in mind any emails you send could be used against you if you turn nasty and threatening yourself. Before sending anything, consider it may be read by a divorce lawyer working for your ex.
Step 4
Display forcefulness but fairness in any communication with your bitter ex. The Divorce Source website recommends that you hold eye contact and maintain confident body posture when communicating with your ex. You should also listen to your ex convey their point of view, even if you do not agree with it.
