Your job as a parent would be a lot easier if your child came with an owner's manual or set of instructions. Of course, this isn't the case. Discipline must be employed to help your child not only understand the consequences of breaking the rules of your household, but also those set forth by society. There may be a variety of different parenting styles, but the best way to properly discipline a child remains the same. The key is to establish clearly defined boundaries and consistent follow-through, coupled with positive reinforcement of desirable behavior.
Step 1
Think about the word "discipline" for a moment. The root word is "disciple," which literally means "follower." Properly disciplining a child is all about showing by example, rather than simply laying down the "law" under the threat of penalty. In other words, view discipline as a teaching opportunity, not an occasion to dole out punishment.
Step 2
Discuss how you plan to discipline your child with the other parent openly and honestly. It's imperative that both parents are on the same page in terms of reaction and consequence to unwanted behavior. Otherwise, you'll undermine each other's authority and create an environment that enables your child to play one parent against the other.
Step 3
Set clear expectations that are fair and reasonable according to your child's age and development. In addition, make sure that consequences are equally appropriate. For instance, KidsHealth.org, a parenting resource provided by The Nemours Foundation, suggests that sending a young child to a designated area for a "timeout" for a few minutes is sufficient. Older children learn from established consequences, such as the loss of certain privileges if schoolwork or household tasks are neglected.
Step 4
Respect your child's point of view and opinion, even when you disagree with it. According to the American Academy of Child Adolescent Psychiatry, the most effective parents recognize that both parent and child have a right to expect their feelings to be valued. This is the foundation for establishing mutual respect between you and your child now, and between your child and hispeers later.
Step 5
Catch your child being good. Your goal is to foster responsible behavior and self-reliance in your child. Offering praise when your child demonstrates either--especially without being asked---goes a lot farther to ensure that the behavior becomes instilled than repetitive scolding for misbehavior.
Tips and Warnings
- Model behaviors you want your child to display. Setting a good example will have far more impact on your child's attitude and conduct than merely telling your child what to do and when to do it.
- Refrain from striking your child. Physical punishment only teaches your child to lash out at others when angry or frustrated. Likewise, don't resort to name calling, swearing or reprimanding your child in a manner that is demeaning. In short, always target the behavior, not your child.
Member Comments