Your intimate partner is supposed to love you and give you emotional support, letting you know that he believes in you. If, instead, he criticizes you, tells you you're stupid or worthless, if he makes you afraid of him or his reactions, you're involved in an abusive relationship. If you're becoming chronically depressed where before you were a happy person, your psyche is trying to tell you something. When you recognize the signs, you can also resolve to get out of this destructive relationship.
Step 1
Recognize the signs of an abusive partner. These include blaming others for all of his problems. Other signs include a sense of entitlement, resentment, a superiority attitude, sarcasm, pettiness, minor jealousy, intentional and unintentional deceit and rushing, according to "Psychology Today."
Step 2
Hide small amounts of money so you can begin to support yourself when you leave. If you still have any resources in your community--family, friends or co-workers--give them the money and tell them what it is for. You won't find it easy to leave because your partner or spouse may have become the equivalent of a physical addiction for you, according to "Women's Health" magazine.
Step 3
Look at your own reactions when your partner acts abusively toward you. When she threatens to leave you, destroys your possessions or controls you through minimizing or blaming, you might begin to wonder if you really have done something to deserve being treated badly. If you begin to doubt yourself and your actions, or if you're afraid you're going crazy, your abuser's behaviors are the cause of your feelings, according to Dr. Phil.
Step 4
Find a trusted friend and tell her what your partner is doing to you. She may already suspect what you've been going through or she may be completely surprised, because the wounds from emotional and mental abuse don't show like those from physical abuse. You may not even realize that what you're going through is abuse, except for the knowledge of how bad you feel about yourself, according to "Women's Health" Magazine. Ask your friend to help you as you ready yourself emotionally and financially to leave.
Step 5
Decide when to leave and stick to it. Don't warn your spouse. If he has threatened suicide in the past, call his bluff, says "Women's Health." The choice is yours whether you want him to see you preparing to leave or you want to pack and leave while he's at work. You may have reasons that make it necessary for your partner to see you packing and leaving. If necessary, call the police to add a layer of protection as you get your belongings and leave, advises "Women's Health."
Tips and Warnings
- If you have only begun to take on the "victim" role after entering an abusive relationship, start listening to the warnings others may be giving you, according to the EQI website. Recognize your fear of abandonment as one possible symptom of emotional or mental abuse.
Member Comments