Violence is not a normal part of a romantic relationship. When spousal or dating abuse occurs, victims may be reluctant to address the behavior due to a fear of embarrassment or retaliation. Abusers use fear and humiliation to control their victims and may make victims believe that they deserve mistreatment, according to HelpGuide.org. Escaping from an abusive situation involves recognizing the signs of abuse and ending all contact with the abuser.
Identification
Spousal and dating abuse fall under the category of domestic violence. Domestic violence is not limited to physical abuse, but also includes emotional, verbal and sexual abuse. While the physical forms of abuse are sometimes easy to identify, the Nemours Foundation reports that emotional abuse can be more difficult to recognize because it doesn't leave physical marks.
Physical and Sexual Abuse
Physical abuse includes any act of physical violence against a romantic partner, including hitting, pushing, slapping, biting, burning, stabbing, shooting, kicking, hair pulling, pinching, spitting, choking or spanking. Sexual abuse involves unwanted advances, rape or the coercion of a partner into sexual activities.
Emotional and Verbal Abuse
Emotional abusers are particularly adept at manipulating their victims and may even make them believe that they deserve the abuse. Emotional abusers may strictly control the victim's access to friends or family and may forbid the victim to drive or get a job. Emotional abusers may use verbal abuse to humiliate and threaten their partners. Verbal abuse includes yelling, threatening, bullying, insulting, harassing and name-calling.
The Abuse Cycle
Domestic abuse often follows a common pattern. The abuser often lashes out with aggressive, belittling or violent behavior intended to show the victim who is in charge. After lashing out, the abuser feels guilt and worries about the repercussions of his actions. During the normal behavior phases of the cycle, the abuser may act as if there is nothing wrong and may make an attempt to be charming and pleasant. However, this phase does not last long; soon, the abuser is contemplating striking out again and begins to create a situation that will justify his actions.
Signs of Abuse
Physical abusers may leave wounds, scars or other marks on their victims' bodies. Some abusers take care to confine the abuse to parts of the body usually covered by clothing, making it more difficult for outsiders to suspect abuse. People who have frequent accidents, often miss work or social events, or dress in concealing clothing may be victims of domestic violence, HelpGuide.org reports. Other possible signs of abuse may include a drastic change in personality in the victim or comments about a partner's jealousy or temper.
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